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unreliable narrator

[moose @mooseincrisis]

just in case anyone thought i was kidding.

[stewie garlic @strwberryvape]

stop using ai i need that water for my bong

[Grinch @Uncatfishable]

Y’all still mad about a lockdown from 6/7 years ago that saved millions of lives. Fucking idiots.

[caitie delaney @caitiedelaney]

when I need a boost in my life I watch the episode of Vanderpump where Brittany plays the audio of Jax cheating on her with Faith on the speakers at their housewarming party

[horse @horsetwting]

what if we frolicked together

[gold star for robot boy @chasedbywasps]

I don't know how to flirt bro I just told this girl she has a warrior's spirit

[tasman @lildorothy_]

sorry i was late i was screaming into a pillow

[𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆🫧💚 @beyoncegarden]

THE WAY HE RANDOMLY SAID THAT WILL FOREVER TAKE ME OUT LMAOOO😭😭😭

[cow @cowincrisis]

moved 6 feet. exhausted.

[fenlon @fen_lon]

a mosquito sucked all my blood and gave me a snatched waist

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

me too little puppy

[໊ @user0000O0]

me after being impossible to deal with

[pinkie @pinkamaniaa]

if you’re wondering what the fuck is wrong with me imagine how i feel

[bean smoothie™ @beansm00thie]

seeing someone choking to death in a restaurant and telling the waiter I'll have what he's having

[Stella @hope__island]

Im bored lets practice grace and intelligence

[Agita Christie @pagan_hoetry]

Saw a praying mantis in my garden this morning. No pics due to living in the moment

[a broken soul @abrokensouI]

i am the way i am because i went insane at 14

[𝖐𝖚𝖘𝖍𝖇𝟔𝖗𝖇𝖎𝖊❦™️ @kushb6rbie]

why wait for the tables to turn when i can just hit you with one of the chairs