hello_its_ava

it’s a gift and a curse

[Zack Vile @zackvee]

in 18 years we've had 2 federal minimum wage increases and 3 willy wonkas

[JAXIE @jaxajueny]

I have the anxiety levels of someone with a bomb attached to their chest

[LDN @ShubzLDN]

“We need that submarine back before Friday “

[dooney and broke @fincherslay]

me remembering THE SUBMARINE every few minutes

[BachShitCray @Bach_ShitCray]

Me talking to literally anyone who will listen about the missing titanic sub

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

An underrated embarrassing moment is when somebody tells you the flashlight on your phone is on and you didn’t realize it. It’s just deeply uncool. I could never picture it happening to Idris Elba, for example

[danlet @evildanevil]

Dont know how many more $7-$15 transactions i have left in me

[Cat Elgarrista @cat_elg]

those 5 minutes when a man is shaving and all that’s left is the mustache and he’s walking around saying “maybe i’ll keep it” are the most terrifying 5 minutes of a woman’s life

[baseballin' @inthephanattic]

someone is flying into philadelphia international airport right now admiring the skyline and a massive 152 x 86 ft screen that says "Please Stop Throwing Hot Dogs"

[Dr. Nicole LePera @Theholisticpsyc]

People with narcissistic traits desperately seek to control because they never feel safe.

[Cincinnati Zoo @CincinnatiZoo]

Fritz has a pep in his step this morning!!

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

how do u fumble a girl who literally wants you

[Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel]

second dates are wild bc it’s like what do u want to talk about this time