Jeremy

cold blooded chiller 🍾🌻🫅🏻

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

I need to understand something: If I go through security at Boston Logan Intl and they do not require me to take out my laptop, tablet, or remove my shoes …. Why does the Intl airport I fly in and out of require me to do the exact opposite? I need to know!!

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

Amazon Prime Day is essentially everything you’ve ever ordered in the past but 20% to 40% off and you’re just outside the timeframe of being able to return your previous purchase for the new discounted price. #PrimeDayDeals 🫠

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

LADIES! When was the last time you dropped your panties for a man who posts pictures of his worked out back muscles? 🦗🦗🦗

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

STOP sharing pictures of your back! It’s the least attractive part of a man. That and your shitty personality but I mean, you post pictures of your back so we’re not surprised. But please, for the love of god, stop showing us your back “muscles”. 🤡

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

Not trying to spoil the eclipse for y’all, but Bella chooses Edward #twilightforlife 🌇

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

It’s 2024. I should be able to upload verification of age / aka my license to FedEx, or UPS or from the company I’ve ordered the product from that requires you to be present when making such delivery. Why am I waiting on pins and needles to show how old I am?

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

Note to self: Dogs react the same way humans do when you put one of their paws in a bag/bucket of warm water…. So don’t try to treat your dogs ailment on the bed is all I’m saying. 😳

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

Nothing hurts more than being an adult and asking a friend that you haven’t seen in a while if they want to get dinner and they say they’re too busy but then post on social media a couple hours later that they are out to dinner with someone else. 🥹

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

On this St. Patrick’s day, I want to thank the Irish for inventing my favorite way to say goodbye. ☘️

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

I hate when people say “You act like you don’t care” and I just want to know who gave them the audacity to think I’m acting. 🤷🏻‍♂️👌🏻

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

Falsely accusing me of having an attitude will create the attitude you thought I had 💥

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

They stop carding you once the light has left your eyes.

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

Friend: What are you going to make for Thanksgiving? 🍗

Me: Probably a scene 🍷

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

If someone tells me to “take it down a notch”, that guarantees a five notch increase. Don’t fucking try to de-notch me, bitch! 📣📢

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

If I did one of those wine and paint nights, the instructor would be like “wow look at you…you’re really good with wine!” 🍷🤡

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

Maybe I’ll dress up as a deer for Halloween and run in front of traffic 🦌

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

Biggest qualm with adulthood right now… getting up and going to take a shower. Everything’s fine. You scrub a dub dub. You get out and get dressed. Then bam. Explosive diarrhea. Where were you before the shower, bitch?! 🤬💀

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

I would rather run into a brick wall than someone I know from high school 👋🏼

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

It blows my mind that NASA is able to receive data from 4.88 billion miles away, but I lose my WiFi signal if I’m in the kitchen 🥹

[Jeremy @hellobocko]

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense and I get mad when they don’t. 🤷🏻‍♂️