Jenn🍄

Nerd. Roller of dice. 43. 🔞 Taken like Liam Neeson. Mental health advocate. Rated a solid 6 to 6.5 by some dude on Twitter 💅 The hottest ninja turtle 🐢

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

I wish your mom swallowed you instead

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

If you zoom in close enough you can also see my lil mustache hairs! We're just out here trying to live, babes 💜

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

To all my over 40 baddies: just remember that texture is normal! Wearing makeup is always gonna look like....you're wearing makeup!

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

Sometimes you just need a giant bath, wine, and motivational quotes to get back outta your head. Correct me if I'm wrong but I believe it was Ghandi who said "I don't fuck with you. You lil stupid ass bitch, I ain't fuckin with you" and I felt that.

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

I wonder what people must feel like when they're celebrated instead of tolerated. Like that shit must feel amazing on the daily.

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

Is the serving in one packet of oatmeal in the boxes of Quaker Oats just WAY too small or am I just fat? Like how is that considered a bowl of oatmeal? Are my bowls too big?! @Quaker please let me know what I'm doing wrong!

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

Coffee and Adderall is the only way I know how to live

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

@ChronosWolfang 😏

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

Just a girl and her big black cock

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

@Sutty1958 And I would love it

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

The workday is absolutely abysmal but I'm wearing my dinosaurs so, honestly, who's really winning here?

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

There are worse things than being broken. Sometimes you realize you're being rewritten. Edited into a version of yourself that you no longer recognize. Marked up in red and revised so often that you stop trusting the original draft.

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

Taking my kids to see Evil Dead 2 at the Alamo Drafthouse! I can't wait to see it on the big screen!

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

@sikan5 But what?

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

Good morning folks. May everyone have the Fridayest Tuesday imaginable!

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

When life has trained you to be a people pleaser, often to the detriment of yourself and your nervous system, you spend a lot of time thinking shit like this and getting sad because you know you can't do it.

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

The road is long and paved with what in the actual fuck am I even doing because I am NOT feeling good about anything right now. Anyway, here's my sleepy pug baby.

[🦢 @damnidc__]

Men to women they don't know:
"Not all men!"
Men to their girlfriends:
"You can't trust them."
Men to their wives:
"I know how men think."
Men to their daughters: "They all want one thing."

Make it make sense?

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

I would pay a suspicious amount of money for someone to come turn my brain off without it becoming a true crime podcast

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

And then there's me with insomnia 😒

[Jenn🍄 @hellosweetie82]

@sAlrcodependent It was meeeeeeee