DoiliesFromHell

Knitter of epic doilies. I'm a good speller. Please, tell me about your favorite spatula! Or anvil! Or irregular verb!

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

BEING 23 IN AUSTIN TX, 1991:
Goofing around in Barton Creek w/friends, playing catch w/a plastic turtle. Some folks came up to scold us for abusing a real turtle but we showed them it was a plastic turtle from a toy store; they laughed & played catch w/us & shared their beers.

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@octopuscaveman "hi, I'm dolores, representing the extra ketchup you asked for but they didn't put in the bag"

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@jkbjournalist I love the super-loud typing at the end. Gets me every time.

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@TThisbitchgay Well, the beauty of it is, it's not *my* printer, it's a shared one at work, at a grocery store, if that helps it make sense. The paper I fed into the printer had sat in a small puddle of egg white that had leaked from a carton on the desk. It's all Jared the Egg Guy's fault.

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

Question I never thought would need to be asked:
Is it bad if raw egg whites get into a printer?

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@wildethingy Are you sure? I've met some of my relatives & I'm not sure.

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@baer10134 The Hip Replacements

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@TThisbitchgay Gay Sardine here to answer the call!

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@auspicetaker The cement is one of the MANY things in that book that still make me queasy after reading it 30-ish years ago.

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@jamieloftusHELP Mystery airplanes dropping ranch dressing from the sky? WHHHAAATTT? I love, love, love the ridiculousness.

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@hhulbert Oh this is beautiful!

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@mrpxssy hey, let's snort some powdered nyquil, it'll be fun

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@LindenmuthWendi I wouldn't want to own the kind of dragon that could *be* owned... and if I've done my homework, none of them really would.

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

Today's earworm: "MULTPLE STAB WOUNDS" to the tune of "Ride of the Valkyries," you're welcome

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@lockwooddewitt You know, I had a feeling today was an important holiday, I just couldn't remember which one!

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@octopuscaveman I want to hug him (but I wouldn't because that would damage him, being wet paint & all)

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

Today at work I got called darlin', sweetie, honey, doll, beautiful, and baby. Yep. Veterans Day.

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@sarahkendzior Sometimes... well, sometimes I think innovation is overrated.

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@MomFromZoom Thank you. Sometimes the best part of my day is seeing the pictures of flowers you post, in case you've ever wondered if it matters. It does.

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

Gaaah. I've quit drinking (year & a half), but I find in these last few post-election bleak horrible days, try as I might... cash in pocket, 20+ liquor stores/bars on my way home from work... I'm drawing up lists in my head comparing pros/cons of Sober Me & Drunk Me. Halp. Now.

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

@MrsDoubleshot Thank you. Mark me safe at home; just finished knitting a hat (gray/green/blue with mock cables) & ready to call it a night.

[DoiliesFromHell @hellyeahdoilies]

I've already asked mother-in-law to think about how she has voted for the elimination of any future government benefits for her autistic grandson (my kid), she's got nothing to say. Fuck her. I don't care that she's 82 and grew up in a different time. FUCK.