i'm beating back all my feelings

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

Some things just pull on you. Ignore them if you must, but you will die with desire burning in your heart.

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

You have only screamed your defiance to yourself. What good is your disgust when you point it inward?

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

The two of us are hung from the same twisted rope.

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

We are liars like the summertime
Like the spring, we are such fools
Like fall we are false prophets
Like winter, we are cruel

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

Where've you been hiding all your demons?
How can you look me in the eye?

If you can't tell me when, can you tell me why?

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

I dreamt that I was drowning in the middle of the sea;
but things like that don't happen to people like me.
That's just what you tell yourself.

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

Come, oh moment of discipline;
The star that gives birth to disaster and falls;
Sacrificed life of the slaughtered lamb;
The roar of the earth which broke away from its yoke.

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

Extend your hands, atone for your sins with your blood and flesh
with your blood and flesh
with your blood and flesh

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

I am the end
and the creation of the world!

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

The blessing has fallen over the earth;
The stars have fallen with despair;
Sins cover thickly all over the sky,
and pierce the earth.

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

You can fix the lights of your eyes and you can cry at night all you want because no one will hear you.

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

What if the monster never knew you existed?

Would it make you feel better if it knew, as long as you were being seen?

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

Realizing that you are nothing to the monster, not even worth sparing a glance at…

Is it relief? Is it anger?

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

God? Do you see me? Have you looked at this life I’ve lived?
Don’t let it end like this. Please. I just want a happy ending.

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

There is something about hearing the voice of someone you love, calling your name – calling for you.

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

I will let you dictate how this flimsy life of mine flows.

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

Machine or man, manufactured or born, in the end we were created and used as tools. For data, for science, for work, for blood and influence and movement.

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

Who cares what you do or don't deserve? Life is unfair no matter what happens. You either reach for what you want, you wait for it to come closer, or you don't move at all. 'Deserving' has nothing to do with it.

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

If I could only lower my shoulders and tilt my head back, knowing that instead of a blade rushing to meet my neck, a tender word would nestle there instead.

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

You live in the weak. And so you thrive in me. At a moment you could rip me from this skin I live in and turn me inside-out so the soft velvet lining of me shows.

[i'm beating back all my feelings @henquoted]

You can see into the hearts of all, and so you can see the void in mine. The thin skin of normalcy stretched over a rotting muscle.