Herbiesolah Ruqoyah

Allah First...

[عمر فاروق🇸🇦 @faruqfromdeep]

there is no perfect person, and there is no perfect spouse.

i think one of the secrets to a successful marriage is truly understanding this. you know your person. you know their flaws, their weaknesses, their annoying habits, the parts of them that are "difficult to live with". and sometimes, after years of trying, you may have to accept that certain things about them may never completely change.

maybe your spouse is forgetful, so you learn to remind them without turning every forgotten thing into a character indictment "you never pay attention", "you're always forgetful".

maybe they are not naturally expressive, a little stubborn, slow to make decisions, or simply wired very differently from you.

marriage cannot survive if two people are constantly trying to remodel each other into their own image of the perfect spouse.

when you say you love someone, it means you know that person has a weakness and you choose not to weaponise it against them. loving them is knowing what "irritates" you about them and learning which things genuinely need to change, which things require patience, and which things you simply need to make room for.

again, you will not find a flawless person. and if you spend your marriage fighting every imperfection in your spouse, you may eventually destroy something good in pursuit of something that does not exist.

forget what people yap about nowadays. in marriage, you must be an understanding partner. advise them with kindness where change is necessary, but also learn to accommodate the harmless imperfections that come with being human. thank you!

[Mrs Adebayo @BeckaBeckalee]

Marry a kind man o…

I was involved in a gas explosion that had both legs burned. Both my legs were bandaged and for days I couldn’t walk.

My husband doesn’t know how to cook but before I said I was hungry, he would have ordered food.

One day he came home with two different pure aloe Vera extract gels and two pots of the aloe Vera plant. He said he heard that aloe Vera helps to heal burns..

The next day someone delivered a big bottle of honey .. my husband said. Another person told him honeys was good for burns but most honey they sold were fake so he ordered some from a vendor in the village that harvests the honey by herself… I asked how much he bought it.. he said it was expensive but I shouldnt worry, my healing was his priority .

On one of those days I couldn’t walk, I woke up in the midnight and needed to pee, my husband had worked till very late at night so he slept off in his work space. I called for him to come carry me but he couldn’t hear me, so I dragged myself to the bathroom in pain when I got back to the bed I had peed a little on myself and cleaning up without being able to walk or stand felt impossible… I immediately started to cry… my crying woke my husband up and he rushed into the room asking if I was okay… he kept apologizing for sleeping off in his work space while cleaning me up and cleaning my tears…

When a man is unkind he knows he is unkind. A kind man will never hold back or give excuses.

Anuoluwatimileyin Oko mi. God bless the day you gave me your party rice 😍😍

[𝑰𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝑨. 𝑶𝒏𝒊 PhD @IdrisAOni1]

Dear Muslim Lady,

Be industrious.

Work diligently.

Acquire beneficial knowledge.

Earn good money through lawful means.

Own properties.

Build businesses.

Invest in your health.

Invest in valuable assets.

Be financially grounded.

Develop useful skills.

Read widely and continuously.

Save consistently.

Plan for the future.

Avoid unnecessary debts.

Support your parents.

Take care of your children.

Be a blessing to your husband if you are married.

Be independent, but never arrogant.

Be ambitious, but remain humble.

Be confident, but preserve your modesty.

Build your intellect as much as you build your appearance.

Protect your dignity.

Protect your reputation.

Choose your friends wisely.

Use social media responsibly.

Do not measure your worth by likes, comments, or validation from strangers.

Have goals bigger than fashion and trends.

Contribute positively to your community.

Give charity regularly.

Help other women rise.

Stand for truth and justice.

Fear Allah in public and in private.

Pray consistently.

Recite the Qur'an regularly.

Maintain good character.

Guard your tongue.

Guard your chastity.

Guard your heart.

Remember that beauty fades, trends change, and wealth can disappear, but faith, character, knowledge, and good deeds remain.

Strive to become a woman who is respected not merely for her appearance, but for her faith, intelligence, wisdom, compassion, integrity, and contribution to humanity.

May Allah make you among the righteous women of this world and the successful women of the Hereafter.
Āmīn.

[Jennifer_Enyadike🇳🇬🇨🇦 @JennyEnya]

As someone who worked out all through my pregnancy and saw my BFF struggle all through hers with a short cervix diagnosis and had to undergo cervical cerclage surgery to avoid preterm birth, I can say that pregnancies are different for every woman.

My friend couldn’t even climb stairs during pregnancy because of the risk of losing her baby, while I, on the other hand, was completely fine and could work out.

Others are asked to be on bed rest, while others are only advised to take walks and get enough rest.

Some women can’t retain food due to hyperemesis gravidarum; others are fortunate enough to eat.

You can’t use someone else’s body, symptoms, or experiences as a standard for others. It’s not only insensitive; it shows a lack of knowledge, empathy, and respect!

Women go through a lot during pregnancy. For a whole bunch of you to be comparing them to one person!

Lastly, these men just showed a lack of awareness, and it’s truly disappointing to say the least.

[Oku @oku_yungx]

NO, I WON’T DO 50-50 WITH YOU AND HERE IS WHY. 🏛️

It is important for a woman to make money, no matter how small.
Financial independence is not a trend but it is dignity. Every woman should have something that is hers.

But personally? I will not do 50-50 with you. Not because I undervalue her contribution, but because the moment we are discussing marriage and the partner is right, my hustle becomes our hustle. Everything I build is for the family. That is not negotiation but that is conviction.

The goal is simple which is to keep each other sane. Keep the home peaceful. Keep the pressure manageable.

Whatever oversight functions money can handle like housekeeping, cooking support, logistics I will contract it out wholeheartedly. No ego. No pride. Just solutions.

Because there is no joy in suffering. There is no trophy for struggle. A home should be a place of rest, not a battleground of exhaustion.
Some people romanticize hardship. I do not. If we can afford comfort, we will choose comfort. If we can buy back time, we will buy it.

Love should not feel like punishment. Marriage should not feel like survival. When the foundation is right and the partnership is solid, the only competition in that home is who takes better care of the other.

That is the standard I am building towards.

[Dura,coco money🎀🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷 @ms0nigghaz]

I love women, and one thing I always encourage is this: it’s perfectly okay to have standards, but it’s even better if you’re able to meet most of those standards for yourself.

Don’t build a life that depends on a man showing up to save, complete, or sustain it. Build a life you’re proud of. Give yourself the opportunities, experiences, comfort, and stability you desire. Aim to create a life that’s even better than the one you grew up with.

That way, when a man comes into your life, what he brings is an addition, not a necessity. His presence enhances your life; it doesn’t determine the quality of it.

I genuinely believe women should want a man, not need one. There’s a different kind of confidence, freedom, and peace that comes from knowing you’re capable of standing on your own while still being open to love.

[Dura,coco money🎀🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷 @ms0nigghaz]

Is it weird that no matter how much I loved someone or how important they were to me, once they’re out of my life, I rarely miss them? It’s not that I never cared. I cared deeply when they were present. But once a chapter closes, my mind seems to accept it and move forward.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s a coping mechanism, emotional detachment, or just the way I’m wired. I still remember people and appreciate what they meant to me, but I don’t find myself constantly revisiting memories or longing for them to return.

Does anyone else experience this?

[reen @re3nu_]

I realised it, grieved it, took a pen and my diary and wrote everything down brainstormed a future plan envisioned where I see myself and spent hours planning. Completed 06 courses in 02 months- interned learned and paved my path. You have to do it. Realisation is only first step

[N’wa Mucanyi 🫶🏾 @KhananiShingan1]

women who have decentered men in their lives - give me your best advice

[•a• @Sxroobs]

One thing I believe every woman should have is firmness. Be firm in your decisions. Be firm in your choices. Just be firm.

Let your word be your bond. If you say you will do something, make every effort to follow through and do it well. Always carry that sense of resolve.

[Luminous choice by FOLA @OlayemiKomolaf4]

GLOWING skin isn’t a skincare routine. It’s a gut conversation most people are ignoring. You can layer serums all day, but if your gut is inflamed, your skin will show it.
Here’s the shift ⬇️

[Dura,coco money🎀🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷 @ms0nigghaz]

This is what genuinely scares me about liking someone in this generation… it’s not even heartbreak anymore, it’s the lack of sincerity. Everything feels temporary, everything feels unserious, and nobody is even trying to hide it. People don’t court anymore, they just “vibe.” It’s attention without intention, feelings without commitment, and communication without consistency. You can talk to someone every day and still not know where you stand, and somehow that has become normal.

What’s even worse is how people are adjusting to it. Girls are learning to hold back, to act nonchalant, to pretend they don’t care as much just to protect themselves. Nobody wants to look “too soft” or “too available” anymore, so real feelings are being watered down just to survive modern dating.

But the truth is, some of us are still real lovers. We still value effort, reassurance, and being chosen clearly. And it’s exhausting trying to exist like that in a generation that treats love like a game. I can like you, but I’m not willing to be made a mockery of. I’m not built for confusion, inconsistency, or half love.

I honestly feel bad for people who love deeply in a time where depth is becoming rare.

[Luminous choice by FOLA @OlayemiKomolaf4]

If you care about your skin, read this.

Here are 50 things that influence skin health.

[Walter 🇳🇬 🇵🇭 🇨🇦 @gamerwalt]

I'll give married guys some free advice...

​Chase your wife around the house. You turn something on in her. You guys become children for just that 4 minutes running around. 😉

​Lift her off the ground. It says something to her mind. 😉

​But if you want to keep the spark alive in the middle of a busy life, add these to the list:

​Take over the dinner chaos. When she is staring down the pot trying to figure out how to feed everyone, stepping in and saying, "I've got this," or just ordering the Friday night pizza or food so she doesn't have to cook, speaks directly to her soul.

​Handle the unsexy logistics.

​Give her the gift of absolute silence. Sometimes taking the kids out of the house for two hours so she can just exist in a quiet room without anyone needing anything from her.

​Flirt with her during the ordinary moments. A wink across the room while you are both cleaning up the kitchen reminds her that underneath the heavy titles of "Mom" and "Dad," you are still just two people crazy about each other.

​Notice the invisible labor. Thank her for remembering the scheduling, the grocery, and all the behind the scenes magic that keeps the house running. It bridges the gap and silently says, "I see exactly how hard you work for us."

​The movie romance is great, but the trenches of everyday life are where the real connection happens.

Show up for her there.

[Dee Macé @frmarcellinus]

I love you Onyi 💜 and I love your idea. But childbirth, I think, is not the greatest sacrifice in marriage. Neither is it the biggest offer that can be brought to the table. The biggest sacrifice is "leaving one's father and mother and cleaving to one's spouse."

I say this because, if a woman is unable to give birth to a child, does that mean she can't offer anything? The biggest sacrifice is saying "yes, I will marry you," "yes, I'll do life with you."

❤️

[خديجة💙 @___Khadijah___]

CRISPY CHICKEN PUFFS RECIPE 🥐✨

Ingredients 🛒
• Chicken breast 🍗
• Onion 🧅
• Garlic 🧄
• Ginger
• Chilli flakes 🌶️
• Black pepper
• Bay leaves 🍃
• Oregano
• Cumin
• Thyme
• Salt 🧂
• Bouillon powder
• Paprika
• Red & green bell pepper 🫑
• Tomato paste 🍅
• Egg 🥚
• Black sesame seeds
• Mozzarella cheese 🧀
• Puff pastry

Procedure 👩🏽‍🍳🔥
• Cook chicken breast with onion, garlic, ginger, chilli flakes, black pepper, bay leaves, oregano, cumin, paprika, thyme, salt, and bouillon powder till very tender.
• Shred and set aside.
• In a pan, add a little oil and sauté diced onion.
• Add diced red and green bell peppers.
• Add tomato paste and mix till well incorporated.
• Add shredded chicken and mix well.
• Add a little broth or water and cook on medium heat till almost dry but still moist.
• Adjust seasoning, then add shredded mozzarella cheese and mix. Set aside.
• Cut defrosted puff pastry into squares.
• Add filling, cover with another square, and seal edges with a fork.
• Egg wash and sprinkle black sesame seeds.
• Bake at 250°F until golden brown.

[Remi @Miss_Oluremi]

Not a skincare product, but a basic routine:

1. I started washing my pillowcase and bedsheets more frequently.
2. I stopped sharing my pillow.
3. I started eating more cucumbers, and I drank lemon infused warm water with honey.
4. I use sunscreen even when I'm indoors.
5. I started avoiding exposure to direct sunlight.
6. I stopped poking my face.
7. I avoided sugar and sugary content. Consuming too much sugar can speed up ageing, cause acne, slow healing, cause dull skin. Etc.
8. I exercise and drink water.
9. I became intentional with what I ate. Our skin is, most times, the reflection of what we take in.
10. My face towel is different from my body towel.

Bonus: Skincare isn’t one-size-fits-all. What works perfectly for someone else might not suit your skin at all. Instead of following trends or copying what works for others, focus on understanding your own skin and choosing products that truly work for you.

[Martins | Film Director @Dir_Martinsz]

For a relationship to truly work in real life, you have to accept that you and your partner are two different individuals..shaped by different backgrounds, experiences, and ways of seeing the world…coming together to build one future. That alone requires patience, grace, and deep understanding.

You won’t always think alike, feel the same, or see things from the same perspective—and that’s normal. Differences don’t mean something is wrong; if handled well, they become an opportunity for growth.

In reality, you’ll notice a pattern: you meet someone you’re attracted to, but they lack sense. You find someone who has sense, but they can’t communicate. You meet a good communicator, but they struggle with trust. You find someone who trusts you, but they’re nonchalant. Then the one who isn’t nonchalant may not even have a clear future. It starts to feel like something is always missing.

That’s where understanding the 80/20 rule comes in. If your partner is 80% right for you, chasing the missing 20% in someone else will only lead you in circles. Even if it’s 70/30 or 60/40, the principle still stands…there’s no perfect person anywhere. What matters is that the good clearly outweighs the bad.

At the end of the day, it’s not always about who is right or wrong, but how you handle the moments when things don’t align. Do you listen or just react? Do you seek to understand, or are you only trying to be heard? Do you choose communication over ego?

Healthy love isn’t about perfection or agreeing on everything…it’s about respecting each other enough to work through your differences, protect what you have, and keep choosing each other even when it’s not easy. That’s where real love shows up.

[Ette Okon👴🏾 @ThinktwiceDark1]

I could be wrong, but you’ll still lose the friendship when she marries somebody else, no? You will not be gisting with her everyday or calling her the way you’re calling her when she’s in her husband’s arms.

If you like her, try and be with her. There’s nothing more to lose… than her in your life.

If you can’t be with her, your ‘friendship’ is inherently at risk (saying from experience)🙃

[ỌBA DÉLÉKÈ  👑 @ObaDeleke]

HOW TO OPEN AN OUTLIER ACCOUNT (AND ACTUALLY PASS THE ONBOARDING)

A lot of people can create an account…
But very few people pass the onboarding stage.

Here’s a clean, proven guide that works if you follow it properly 👇

I joined Outlier AI around last year and I’ve earned over $15,000 so far.