Heresy of the Day

heresies for your spiritual misinformation. if God is the well, there’s a hole in our bucket.

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

What the devil meant for evil (your lactose intolerance) God meant for good!

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD: and on that day you will hear the familiar voice of your maker: “Teddy. Pinch it off.”

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

“zero stars. will come again”

-Jesus’ yelp review of Earth

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD: Jesus is a prefiguration of Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

God is unbelievably jiggy wid it

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD: Jesus is the dog and we are the ticks

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

@ChrchCurmudgeon wouldn’t ya know it I searched “worship coloring page” and this was the first result

[Church Curmudgeon @ChrchCurmudgeon]

If you’re bored or need a break this afternoon, here’s a coloring page of what worship should look like.

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD: hyper-calvinism is just cosmic tinder with god swiping left and right

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD: i baptize you with water but there is one who is coming after me who will baptize you with coffee in the name of the father son and holy spirit

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD: blessed are you when you beware the mormons on campus

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

@levithepoet Fiona the Baby Hippo is the doorway to God every day of the year.

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD: the more we are poured through the coffee grounds of the Word, the darker our spiritual roast, and the more we resemble His flavor

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD: Knox Stapleton is the 4th person of the Quadrinity

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD We are on the magic school bus of life and God is Miss Frizzle

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD: Christ is a prefiguration of Luca

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD: she so ugly the holy spirit wouldn't even impregnate her

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD: if you are really filled with the Spirit, you don't need therapy

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD: Adam was the first dungeon master

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

the hypostatic union applies to the ark of the covenant as it is both 100% of this world as it is gold, and 100% not of this world, as it is made holy by the touch of God
(lessons from Indiana Jones)

[Heresy of the Day @heresyotd]

HOTD: it is only by the grace of God that I receive His kisses