Tori Deatherage

Wine Drinker 🍷Food Eater 🥑 Fun Haver 💃🏻 World Traveler 🌃 Documentation of 3am thoughts and comebacks that were two hours too late

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

Hey @Apple I feel like a *real* easy tweak would be to list our contacts in order from ‘most likely to contact’ when we start typing a name. I’m texting a friend I talk to almost daily, not my high school boyfriend’s mom.

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

The Spice Girls are gearing up for something and I am HERE for it.

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

I feel like I’m watching a Raiders basketball game

[Nemo @thecaptain_nemo]

making a kickstarter to redo this drone show in the sky over uncontacted amazonian tribes

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

@WillKunkelFOX @stoolpresidente @StateFairOfTX Next shirt design: Bird watching. Crosswords. Coffee breath.

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

5-Star Resorts be like
“Rooms: immaculate, ocean view, free mini bar. Toilet: echo chamber, glass walls, you are now one with your roommate.”

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

There are two types of movies on airplanes
- You will cry
- Sex scenes

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

*Ron Swanson giggle*

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

Me laughing (at some dumb thought I had) would be the reason I’d get beat up in prison.

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

I love March

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

Almost 33 years in and I still must be missing the trick to cling wrap

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

Cheese is a grate idea

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

The people meant to be in your life will fuel your fire, not extinguish it.

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

We see the world, not as it is, but as we are.

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

@barstoolsports Is this tattoo head Kevin? Cuz that checks out.

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

I need to know by a show of hands how many people are paying for the courses the internet keeps insisting we also pay to create.

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

Why is NBA’s defense so bad

[Tori Deatherage @heretowine]

So glad we’re past automatic seatbelts