hermitdefrag

Universe, I am ready 🌌
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[hermitdefrag @hermitdefrag]

Exciting times ahead 🙌 from this day onward 😊

[Jett 🜲 @iky_fwjett]

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20k$ cash

[22gunner @Gnar1104]

If you get a gut feeling to stay home. STAY HOME

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

yes girl just aim that wet cough wherever!

[𝔻𝕒𝕟. @fwdaniels]

idc this should be up there

[Interesting things @awkwardgoogle]

A grandmother in Missouri is pushing for a new law that would require drunk drivers to pay child support if they kill a parent. (Bentley's Law)

[cнєєкυ⋆｡🪐˚ ⋆ @Okay_Bye___]

Me: *drinking from a soggy straw to save the planet*

World leaders:

[Aidan McLaughlin @aidan_mclau]

your daily reminder that Pharaoh Ramesses II's son (BCE 1280) was ancient egyptologist

[fluttershy @hwrtyed]

we’ll meet again and not in person but in everything you and i loved

[໊໊ @juniorkingpp]

People are talking about this like it's a matter of keeping yourself entertained lmao you will be seeing the hatman by day 8

[⸜(｡ ˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ @LASTNAMELORDE]

obsessed w this 1970’s sofa someone is selling on FB marketplace

[Asher Perlman @asherperlman]

Today, the great Tom Toro made the insane decision to finally join Twitter. Spread the word and follow this absolute mad man.

[dj pauly d @smellagillis]

my father is bisexual so this is his shelf in his freezer that he only uses for chilling martini glasses. he will get mad and start yelling about how no one respects him if we put anything else up there.

[Triiad ୭୭ @triiadxx]

The look on her face is the look of every woman who’s ever thought a male was genuinely her friend until they showed her why they can never be true friends

[Southern Dan @StolenDans]

Every guy who says he'd die for his family but won't wash a dish for them.

[isaac @goftue]

you not even trying to give any sense of fish… i know a conservative plant when i see one

[tyris ✰ @TYRISPRINT]

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[big ceo @korysverse]

her speaking from experience is killing me like she’s dead serious 😭😭

[Cinder Kirisaki 🪻💜 @ShidousCage]

oh my god they weren't kidding.

[Isabela ᡣ𐭩 @isabonventini]

eu literalmente teria um surto psicotico

quão imprestavel e inútil vc tem que ser pra achar q seu próprio filho é uma obrigação momentânea sua pra quando a mãe não puder pegar e o maldito não cria conexão nenhuma com a criança parece um boneco

[wor$t man in penn$ylvania🌪️ @plasticmattyy]

i’m DYING this is just 2 minutes of this man admitting he’s gay and his “GF” realizing it 😭