Hazel

a little autistic but in a hot way

[Hazel @hevalhazel]

@frogs4girls People calling 911 because they smoked too much weed will still be a very common occurrence even if you can’t technically overdose lol

[Hazel @hevalhazel]

@cyrilwoodcock I live in Boston but I would absolutely come down to nyc for a night, I’ll send pics if you dm me and I top

[Hazel @hevalhazel]

@Pibbibellyflop @catkaldir You shouldn’t talk to women like that

[sydney @demiurgently]

chat dead silent after i proposed 2027 chongqing girls trip

[Hazel @hevalhazel]

Red Bull and stick shift in my left hand, American spirit and the steering wheel in my right, Carly Rae Jensen on the phone speakers, windows down, never kill yourself

[Hazel @hevalhazel]

@OrganizerMemes My roommate ran into Sarah McBride at a bar in P-town the other day lol, glad she's having fun

[Hazel @hevalhazel]

@HumpedMyJeweler Did you check his blood sugar? Might have been that

[Merp @Labubumoney]

Vyvanse make you productive as fuck if you got smoking 14 cigarettes and jerking off in the shower 14 times due by midnight!!!!!!!

[Hazel @hevalhazel]

Guilty

[𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖊 🕯 @atlanticesque]

“You may think all leftists are crazy crustpunk radicals, but I’m actually a bookish and cultured wannabe-socialite of bürgerliche temperament who’s conversant in the haute economic issues of the day. Bet you’ve never met someone like me before huh?”

Truly the most tiresome bit

[summer @transgendererer]

I wish America did like China and the west coasters just had to live on east coast time with the sun all wrong and confusing. This would have almost no benefits except as a demonstration of east coast dominance. It's about respect. Kiss the ring, yknow?

[azu #FreePalatinate🇩🇪 #ProleLivesMatter @azu2137]

I’ll never be like Goethe. I’ll never be like Napoleon. I’ll never be like Alexander. I’m eating a heated up pizza at 3 am. Fuuuuuck.

[Hazel @hevalhazel]

Unfortunate…

[Hazel @hevalhazel]

@dacarez0ne_ What's the story with thotbot?

[Hazel @hevalhazel]

I'm an EMT and the first time I had a dead baby call I had several very experienced people, people who had made it through an entire career of stuff like this, tell me the best way to manage it is to just keep doing calls. Better than going home and ruminating. So I got in the truck and got back to work.

[Hazel @hevalhazel]

A lot of people have been negatively polarized but american football is actually so fun to watch

[Hazel @hevalhazel]

She has also run for office a total of 46 times, only winning once, is opposed to same sex marriage and abortion, loves Trump and the BPD. She was briefly on the Boston City Council in 2019 due to a procedural quirk. Such a weird, beautifully Boston character.

[Samantha @Samantha8182]

Today I learned the first trans state legislator elected in the US was a Black stealth trans woman Republican who was outed while in office and then lost reelection. Althea Garrison. Wild stuff really.

[Hazel @hevalhazel]

@Samantha8182 She has also run for office a total of 46 times, only winning once, is opposed to same sex marriage and abortion, loves Trump and the BPD. She was briefly on the Boston City Council in 2019 due to a procedural quirk. Such a weird, beautifully Boston character.

[unregistered hyperkate 2 @kathrwn]

when you/re reading Infinite Jest but it hit you with a 20 page long footnote in the middle of a sentence