AK47

notorious double-dipper// avid sports fan // karaoke enthusiast

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

I've never met a Dorito I didn't like #realtalk

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

Baby’s breath is so fucking ugly

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

“If I die of a heart attack just know it was your fault”

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

@JTate_TKE

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

I feel like a 70 year old Italian man stuck inside a 30 year old woman’s body

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

“Nothing kicks a cold like alcohol and shrooms!”

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

A 15 year old told me my skin looked great today. I will be riding this high into the weekend

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

I got bullied today by 10th graders for using the word “sick” …

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

Raise your hand if you cried at work today 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

“No one should’ve ever taught me the phrase ‘serving cunt’. I be using that shit irresponsibly!”

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

About that time to pour myself some wine and start tossing m&ms at kids

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

panic FaceTiming my stepdad while my bathtub was overflowing in a towel was a weird start to my Saturday

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

Target drive up is 👩‍🍳 💋

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

Why do all men think they know better than the gps….

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

CEO of going full glam with makeup to distract from the face that I’m out in sweatpants

[Scott Hanson @ScottHanson]

200 days until NFL RedZone.

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

Feeling cunty.. going to Barnes & noble..

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

“The government doesn’t draft swifties”

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

The correct answer is on the sidewalk. As in outside my home.

[AK47 @heyALYSSSSA]

$20 bucks to whoever correctly guesses where my keys were as I was leaving for work this morning

[KatieBug ◡̈ @PhunkyWitch]

i cannot express how much i love women, women are the best