Colby Weeds

Sad but rad.

Laugh with me or at me on Something I Don't Know:

[Colby Weeds @Hey_Colby]

Hi my name is Colby my pronouns are he/him my adjectives are gangly/horny

[Colby Weeds @Hey_Colby]

I think damsels have had their time in the spotlight I am clearly in distress

[Colby Weeds @Hey_Colby]

Covid 2: Whatthe Fuckaloo

[Colby Weeds @Hey_Colby]

Me coming home from the bar

[Is Today Ted Danson's Birthday? @TedDansonBDay]

Today is not Ted Danson’s birthday.

[Colby Weeds @Hey_Colby]

This urinal sucks.

[Colby Weeds @Hey_Colby]

They also have at least 6 carols explicitly about Fat Sazmos being uncircumcised. They really want to drive that point home for some reason.

[Dan Duvall @DanDuvallComedy]

In Australia Santa is called "Fat Sazmos" and he is a naked troll who has snakes for arms

[Colby Weeds @Hey_Colby]

lol remember in the Before Times when it was someones birthday and they'd spit all over all the cake and we'd all cheer and then we'd eat the cake?

[Colby Weeds @Hey_Colby]

Until a Peloton user finds a body I'm not interested.

[Colby Weeds @Hey_Colby]

me: *spreading peanut butter on toast with the remote control* you know it really doesn't bother me, not having a dishwasher.

[Colby Weeds @Hey_Colby]

Just heard back from Make-a-Wish...bad news. 31 is apparently "far too old"? And a bad hangover "isn't exactly what they're there for"? And a week-long bender with Stone Cold Steve Austin "isn't a wish in the spirit of the foundation"? 🙄

[Colby Weeds @Hey_Colby]

I don't really know how Twitter works but I'm looking forward to cyberbullying politicians and police unions :)