Emily Burns

the stuff under my nails is either motor oil or coffee grounds. she/her

[Emily Burns @heyemilybeth]

Can anyone tell me if I took my meds 5 minutes ago or just thought about it?

[Emily Burns @heyemilybeth]

Everyone should be on at least 4 meds. Cause no. You’re not gonna remember if you took 1 pill. But you will remember if you opened 4 diff bottles and took out 4 diff pills and swallowed them with a chug of water.

[Parker Krex @ParkerKrex]

I’m a Highland Park mass shooting survivor. Tim Walz used to take money from the NRA and was given an A rating by them. After Parkland, he denounced them and now gets straight F’s. He will be a great VP for gun violence prevention.

That’s why I’m supporting Harris-Walz.

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

If Kamala Harris and Tim Walz WIN the election, Lt. Gov. Peggy Flanagan, a fellow Democrat, would become Minnesota’s next governor.

She would be the first female governor in Minnesota and the first Native American woman to serve as governor in the country.

[Governor Tim Walz @GovTimWalz]

Summer is for pup cups

[Emily Burns @heyemilybeth]

Did you take pics for this @tesslomayer ?

[Zach W. Lambert @ZachWLambert]

I had no idea that so many of my Facebook friends from high school are chromosome and gender experts, but I should have known because they are also inflation experts, infectious disease experts, foreign policy experts, and French performance art experts.

[Brooke from Let’s Not Date @TheLetsNotDate]

Oh wow. Imagine how fantastic it must be.

[Kevin Baum @kevinbaum013]

Why do we even have a Second Amendment?

[erica @ericanextdooor]

please don’t offer your positive perspective when i’m trying to be a hater

[GarfieId @GarfieldFanArt]

Hi guys, Jon here.

Garfield passed away in his sleep last night after eating at an Olive Garden buffet earlier in the night. It was sudden and we’re still in shock. I don’t know how this could have happened, but I just didn’t want you guys to be left in the dark.

Thank you.

[Emily Burns @heyemilybeth]

Being an adult is just perpetually trying to convince the IRS you make no money while convincing landlords you make so much

[#PAWGPUSSY @MissGioBaby1]

I can tell how someone is feeling just by making it up in my head and believing it

[Emily Burns @heyemilybeth]

If cars can park halfway on the sidewalks why can’t my motorcycle?

[Jake M. Grumbach @JakeMGrumbach]

If you're looking for eclipse glasses right now you understand why same day voter registration is important

[Anna Khachiyan @annakhachiyan]

Much like the earthquake I’m also a 4.8 in New York

[Emily Burns @heyemilybeth]

So annoying to be sick tbh