maria

f. midwest misanthropist. #baseball aficionado. crass conversationalist. downstate democrat. wicked witch of the midwest.

[maria @heyholymackerel]

@SportsCenter Are we just ignoring Angel Reese yelling “hoe” at her or…?

[maria @heyholymackerel]

I pay $24.99 a month for @MLB tv streaming service. I live in central Illinois where the Cubs, Sox, & Cardinals are blacked out. I can’t even watch the out-of-market game on Sunday night. What am I paying for?

MLB should worry more about accessibility & less about a pitch clock.

[maria @heyholymackerel]

@TheAthletic @JimBowdenGM @TheAthleticMLB @MLB Move the Cardinals to the Midwest, Diamondbacks to Southwest, Giants to West, Twins to Pacific Coast then we can have a conversation

[maria @heyholymackerel]

@audacityinblack @madison_tayt The number of fake service dogs I’ve seen destroy store property — 0

The number of irresponsible parents who let their asshole kids climb and knock over shelves, spill food, and run wild in a store — couldn’t begin to count

[maria @heyholymackerel]

@madison_tayt You’ve never seen a dog in a Trader Joe’s or a grocery store of any kind unless it’s a service dog because it’s illegal. Stop going to stores that are dog friendly if you’re so bothered. There are many that do not allow dogs, chock-full of germy, screaming children.

[Taylor Lewan @TaylorLewan77]

Bro, BJ Hill is a stud for this. Ossai is not the reason why the bengals lost. It was a stupid penalty. But that’s all it was.

It’s never just one play, give the boy some grace.

[maria @heyholymackerel]

@elonmusk This dude is a total narc

[maria @heyholymackerel]

@trixiemattel Meet Ruth.

[maria @heyholymackerel]

@trixiemattel My friend has a dog named Kyle.

[Gritty is the Way @Gritty20202]

Ireland rn

[maria @heyholymackerel]

@KMTSTREE She is absolutely breathtaking!

[maria @heyholymackerel]

@elonmusk Do you count the two kids you had in secret from affairs and the one that doesn’t speak to you?

[maria @heyholymackerel]

Veep IRL

[maria @heyholymackerel]

@Anth_Carrigan my rescue is a big fan of you and Barry ♥️ We have a sweet dog named in NoHo Hank’s honor https://t.co/QgiY5PpA8u

[david cross✍ @davidcrosss]

We're a little over 5 months away from drowning witches

[V 🇵🇸 @mockgoose]

Lily Allen and Olivia Rodrigo singing Fuck You to the Supreme Court Justices. Words so perfect for Brett Kavanaugh & Clarence Thomas

[maria @heyholymackerel]

@JohnCornyn Baby, you can’t even brush your teeth.

[maria @heyholymackerel]

@BishopPaprocki When your church starts paying taxes then you can have an opinion on government policies. However, you don’t so stay in your lane and worry about the systemic pedophilia you refuse to acknowledge.

[Betsy Shirley @BetsyShirley]

I'm just a girl, standing in front of your Word document, begging you to stop using double spaces after periods.

[maria @heyholymackerel]

@cathryn_dennis @audreywss @4lisaguerrero @richardmarx @CNN @BetoORourke Agreed. If not now, when?