You're not funny

Idk what to put here without sounding cliche, stupid or narcissistic.

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

My 500th Tweet goes out to Mr. @pefo44. Happy Birthday! T'was great to room together this year and I look forward to rooming next year also!

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

wow.

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

So I found this on my phone @lenners_ry @tommyray821

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

First time being on Twitter in 2 years...and I just spent 20 minutes reading through old tweets laughing at myself either because I was fucking funny or a dumb ass. Also is there a change in word count limit now? I feel so free to express myself all of the sudden...

[Audra Clark @CoachAudraClark]

@megclark12 Lol so deep

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

@IAmJKGraham damn dude you have a full schedule

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

Sold a guy insurance today and he told me to go fuck myself.

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

@nattypatters Asah dude

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

I get hit on more by gay men than women and that's just life.

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

Dude its basically August already. Dude....

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

@IsaacusTheBrave dies choking on recorder*

[thoughts @thegoatcircle]

A study found that men aren't funnier than women — they just make more joke attempts than women do.

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

@IsaacusTheBrave yeah but recorders blow.....AHAHHAHAAHAHA OMG A PUN

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

Still pondering why we were all taught to play recorder in middleschool/gradeschool. Like what life lessons was that teaching us?

[Meninist @MeninistTweet]

How to catch a girl https://t.co/m8tYhsLNcr

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

Leaving fucked up voicemails gives me pleasure.

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

@IsaacusTheBrave dude are you drunk enough?

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

If you ever see me cleaning my bedsheets never assume that things got messy in bed sexually. I probably just aggressively ate nachos in bed

[You're not funny @heyihavecandy]

Always carry around fruitsnacks in your pocket because fruitsnacks can make a bad day great.