Alex Bornman

[Catturd ™ @catturd2]

World on fire timeline cleanse.

[Alex Bornman @heyitsaborn]

@lindzxjb93 Next delete TikTok 😲

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

Whenever my wife is upset, I let her color in my tattoos…

She just needs a shoulder to crayon.

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

I was once so broke I couldn't afford to pay my electricity bill.

Those were the darkest days of my life.

[Alex Bornman @heyitsaborn]

I heard two new quotes today….

“Can’t make an omelet unless you break egg shells”

And

“Raise hell. Eat Cornbread”

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

I paid $1 for a wig today…

It was a small price toupe.

[Alex Bornman @heyitsaborn]

Someone came up to me in the gym and complimented me on my progress….what I said was “thanks that means a lot” what was internally happening

[JO @withlovejohana]

Personally I never look up the lyrics to any Jonas Brothers songs. It feels like an invasion of privacy. If Nick wanted me to know the words he would’ve enunciated.

[Alex Bornman @heyitsaborn]

Things I never thought I would say in excitement

“Y’all need to see this, California Unemployment Insurance collects and stores data on all their claims and calls for public access!!”

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?

10+10=20

11+11=22

[Alex Bornman @heyitsaborn]

Took a major L today….failing, not once, but 3 times trying to squat a new max. Ended up on the ground two out of the 3 times. #happymonday

[Alex Bornman @heyitsaborn]

@lreynolds1993 @CuriosidadNickJ Tweeted*

[Alex Bornman @heyitsaborn]

@lreynolds1993 @CuriosidadNickJ I have seen this now being twice after yours, TWICE!

[Alex Bornman @heyitsaborn]

This ad was 100% created for me and only me down to even the freaking movie and scene in it. Social media you win.

[Alex Bornman @heyitsaborn]

Swimmer #1 “my mom locked me out of the house today, that sucked”

Swimmer #2 “your mom told you that you’re adopted!?”

Now the lack of following directions make sense.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

My granddad always said "When one door closes another one opens"

Lovely man, but a terrible cabinet maker.

[🔮✨ @TheOracleReadsU]

You owe it to yourself to become everything you were told you couldn't be. You need to do this for yourself. This is your journey. When you're ready, this is how you heal and grow. Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you lived it through. Honor your path.

[Alex Bornman @heyitsaborn]

Can only say this for a several more days… https://t.co/5znU0tE8nE

[Alex Bornman @heyitsaborn]

Person at the gym “what are you training for?”
Me “my mental health”