matilda like the movie

“matilda, you son of a bitch” | she/her

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

“it’s so bad for you” i say about smoking cigarettes as i continue to date men

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

them: was he the hottest man you’ve ever seen and the love of your life, or did he just have a moustache?

me: yes

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

thinking a lot about the time a girl i didn’t even know dm’d my bf and called him shady for being in a serious relationship and not posting about it online ???

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

the fact that bonnie still bullied kim possible knowing full well kp could have kicked her ass at anytime was such a power move tbh

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

ok i get why they’re fast, but why are they so furious?

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

someone at my 11yo cousin’s school called him gay and instead of getting offended he just said “are you homophobic, bro? because that’s really too bad” 🤷🏼‍♀️ he is my idol

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

if you ever feel embarrassed about how obsessed you are with something just remember my cousin honestly thought cody simpson was my boyfriend for 4 years because I talked about him so much 🥴

[IG: closedapp @ih8rts]

the older I get the more I understand why deer run infront of cars lol

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

me: “the world is too big to stay in kenora”
me, the second I move away from kenora: “ok I hate this, I’m ready to go back”

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

my family: have you been eating?
me, living alone with adhd: have I been what?

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

I’m kinda bummed that no “stereotypical ranch hand” in any hallmark movie has ever had a mullet

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

i'm a menace 🤷🏼‍♀️

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

me: no one wants to talk to me
also me:

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

“oh my god that is so funny 😂” -me hearing the least funny story of all time

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

single this vday but pretending it’s a choice like

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

a real conversation about chinese astrology that transpired:
me: i was born in 1998
my friend (again, clearly referring to chinese astrology as that is the conversation we were having): “what year was that?”
me: an idiot: “the year I was born”

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

I went to my friend’s for dinner and he’s columbian, but I noticed he didn’t season the chicken and I said “did you season that chicken at all?” and he said “well you’re white so no I didn’t” 🥴🥴

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

it’s me — i’m the friend 😭

[tyler woodward @tyler02020202]

we all have that friend who’s 25

[tyler woodward @tyler02020202]

we all have that friend who’s 25

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

watching the sister of one of the shadiest people I ever went out with make a tiktok begging for someone to date her brother is exactly the pick-me-up I needed this morning

[matilda like the movie @heyitstil]

do you think the corn kid will ever understand how much he truly contributed to society