Who's a cat?

Things I say to my housemate's cat, Jarl.

[Who's a cat? @heyjarl]

Teach cat to eat a chicken nugget, and you will feed him for a day. Teach cat that there are chicken nuggets, and you have no more nuggets

[Who's a cat? @heyjarl]

You guys should stage Warhammer campaigns, but instead of using the little figurines you should use cats. I call it Clawhammer

[Who's a cat? @heyjarl]

Hey remember when this chair belonged to @polar_rk ? #meneither

[Who's a cat? @heyjarl]

Oh, what? You don't think I could win a meow war with you? You don't think I can cut it? You don't think -- okay yeah you're probably right

[Who's a cat? @heyjarl]

Jarl no more chicken nugget. Okay, fine. One more bit. Don't make that face at me. Fine, one more. Don't make that noise - ok fine, one more

[Who's a cat? @heyjarl]

This? This is coconut oil for my hair. You want it? Ok here is some for your tail. Oh he's so lush and exotic. Catconut. The ladies go wild.

[Who's a cat? @heyjarl]

Jarl if you don't get up off the floor I am going to push you around with my foot and use you as a broom to sweep up your own hair.

[Who's a cat? @heyjarl]

Jarl loves the aloe vera tissue box more than me. #jealousy #unrequitedlove #whydontyoujustmarryitthen #needatissue

[Who's a cat? @heyjarl]

Hey, Jarl. Quit making out with the stairs. #rubrubrub

[Who's a cat? @heyjarl]

No Jarl, it's 2am. You can't come in-- alright fine, but you can't sit on my-- alright fine, but you can't bite my feet. ...Ow.

[Who's a cat? @heyjarl]

@f5dee8c3449744b @WMHChampsWA I asked him whilst I was patting him and he bit my hand. I don't know what that means.

[Who's a cat? @heyjarl]

Hey Jarl, do you know who this blob of grey fluff belongs to? Oy, don't look at me like I'm crazy talking to a cat, you're the one listening

[Who's a cat? @heyjarl]

Are you sitting on Marilyn Monroe? Yes you are. Yes you are. Good boy. #heyjarl