Aftercare after an arguments/disagreements in a relationship is very IMPORTANT. It leaves zero room for uncertainty & insecurity, it makes you feel heard & seen, plus it nurtures the feelings that might've been hurt during the argument. AND it's also another form of reassurance.
the more i learn about avoidant attached people the more i feel bad for them. imagine having so much to say to someone you love, yet no way to say it because vulnerability and intimacy don’t feel safe.
my therapist said “people who struggle with anxiety & depression can't remember a lot, bc they're too busy focusing on how to get through each moment so they don t actually experience what is happening to them, causing them to not form the memory they were supposed to” felt that.