Hiram Fibonik

62. Married. Cranky.

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

@michaelaWat I watched a tv show today with the closed captions on, and they spelled Kwanzaa with a Q.

[Legend named ant @antdeshawn1]

You a hoe if you go to the club tonight

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

@JohnFinnemore Loved the goldfish one! Too bad about every other sketch on every other sketch show ever. Thx for not getting your hopes up.

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

Watching Romanian dog videos. Is eye-petting a thing anywhere else? The Romanian dogs seem to enjoy a finger gently crossing their eyeball.

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

The clock on the Weather Channel is 17 minutes fast. Also, I have misplaced my reading glasses.HOWEVER, the Weather Channel clock IS WRONG!

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

Wife and I are trading blows. She started it. No operable phones in room. Again, SHE STARTED IT! Do I have to do smack noises? Fine. *SMACK*

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

Oh, did you think there would be a continuation to my previous tweet? No, sorry, that is all.

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

menopause is awful! I breathe too loud. Wife now hates me. I yell at her to stop yelling. She wields a knife. 911. I called her bluff!

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

I seriously have to stop drinking. I have NO IDEA what my last 12 or so replies mean. Apologies to all, and please don't block me!

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

Soz! I drink too much! Plz tolerate me. RT @jeremyduns @hfibonik Various reasons... Nobody's forcing you to follow me, by the way.

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

oh. my. god. I hate #menopause SO much. My wife randomly avers,"I HATE YOU!" It's killing me. I truly hate menopause. Hate! Hate! Hate!

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

Trump: beloved for 8 yrs. Reagan, Schwarzenegger, Ventura: the most famous Republican ALWAYS wins, and assassination attempts ALWAYS fail.

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

As a pinko, I've always hated Texans. Today I saw an episode of "Ho*ston Anim*l Cops" on channel Anim*l Plan*t. Texans aren't all bad!

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

My problem with "agency": Neologisms alienate intelligent oldsters. Do you really need to alienate us AGAIN, or is "agency" a dealbreaker?

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

@mollyblack #IBS Sorry, it has to be "all bran", not oats. Nothing else worked for me. Commercial: "My doctor said ALL BRAN"; FUCK YES!"

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

I'm male, 62. agency=OK...Google it! RT @olversqueen arrow is a prime example of how...the white male audience struggle with female agency

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

Wife avers she hates me. AVER is a crossword puzzle word, often confused with AVOW, but they aren't synonymous. Enter AV__ OMG she HATES me!

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

Hang on! He looks exactly like ME!RT @kukkurovaca [blah blah blah]

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

Yes. STILL! RT @SpencerPI Still wonder how #Berkeley mayor Tom Bates kept his job after stealing and dumping newspapers in 2002 {link}

[Hiram Fibonik @hfibonik]

Wife's antidepressant "authorization" is taking WAY too long. She wants to kill herself. Everyone at L*felong needs to be stabbed to death.