hghc bot

tweeting quotes from “hermione granger’s hogwarts crammer for delinquents on the run” by waspabi on ao3 every hour. (pfp: camoolla on tumblr)

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“I’m Hermione Granger, this is Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy. I’m afraid you’re in tremendous danger. We’re here to help.”

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“Now I don’t have to confess my lies by omission,” Malfoy said. “This works out brilliantly for me. Do you know how truly honed and perfected Hermione Granger’s disappointed face is? Extreme guilt after thirty seconds, guaranteed.”

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“I hope you’re decent,” trilled Ginny. “We’ve come to discuss government overthrow!”

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Harry turned back around so he could glower at him. “What — what are you playing at? You buy me a coat, you fix my shitty trainers, you hold my hand…” Harry’s eyes stung. His heart hurt so badly. “What are you fucking me about for?”

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“He doesn’t call me Harry now,” Potter said.
“Call him something else. A code name. John, or —”
“Archibald,” Draco said.
Potter snorted. “Archibald?”
“It suits you.”

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“What, Volde—” Six people attempted to cover his mouth at once, which was quite the production.

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“Young love,” sighed Ginny theatrically, one hand to her heart. “It really makes you believe in happy endings.”

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“What?” Potter looked at Draco, all that joy splashed over his face for anyone to see, for anyone to take. “What are you looking at me like that for?”

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Though she was the shortest of their number, she somehow managed to convey height through sheer intensity of expression.

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“You got that out of the Forbidden Section,” Draco said, mildly delighted. Hermione Granger, rule-breaker. Incredible.

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“Harry,” Black said. His mouth twisted. “I don’t suppose anyone would have told you — I’m your godfather. Your dad was my best friend. I… I was meant to look after you.”
“And you’ve clearly done a bang-up job,” Harry said cruelly.

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Malfoy’s hand grazed Harry’s waist tentatively, barely enough for Harry to feel through his clothes. If they both leaned forward… If they both moved just an inch closer…

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“He killed all those Muggles, remember? He’s a murderer! He escaped from Azkaban!”
“It’s true,” Sirius Black said darkly. “The boy isn’t lying. I am a murderer.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Sirius,” Lupin sighed.

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“Oh yes, that dastardly Neville Longbottom. All deceit and malice.”

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“It’s like magic,” said Hermione. She glanced at Ginny, who had never known magic as anything other than oxygen in the air she breathed. “Wonderful, but actually rather tricky when you get down to it.”

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Neville — well, Neville still didn’t know that Harry and Draco were sleeping together, and one of these days he was in for a rude and rather explicit awakening.

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Harry turned back around so he could glower at him. “What — what are you playing at? You buy me a coat, you fix my shitty trainers, you hold my hand…” Harry’s eyes stung. His heart hurt so badly. “What are you fucking me about for?”

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“What’s rocket science? Never mind, I don’t care. You’re such a bloody Gryffindor, Potter.” Malfoy shook his head, smiling a little.

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Draco would never understand Harry Potter. He was a strange, beautiful feral little monster and Draco did not know why he had all these stupid feelings about how he tangled his hands up in his jumper.

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“You can hear Granger and Boy Weasley making horrific Gryffindor love. It’s, honestly, I think it qualifies as a war crime.”

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Ginny squinted at her. “You’re doing that thing where you leapfrog about eight steps and assume I’m following. I am not following. I am about twelve feet behind you.”