Jonah Hill

Not affiliated with the actor Jonah Hill. This is a parody account.

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

white girl: do these uggs make my starbucks look big?

me: what?

white girl: *you're

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

My plans for GTA 5:
Run over a cop
Steal his gun
Jack a convertible
Rob a bank
Jump off a building
Fuck bitches
Go to GameStop
Buy GTA 5

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

At least gravity is attracted to me

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

Why can't it be Friday all ready?

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

homework
homewor
homewo
homew
home
hom
ho
how
how a
how ab
how abo
how abou
how about
how about n
how about no

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

Nothing ruins my day like realizing tomorrow is Monday.

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

RT for an iPad. HOLY SHIT. There's this sick new auctions app for one. http://t.co/RRBbt5EOh9 - sp

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

i have so much homework

what movie should i watch

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

My relationship is like an iPhone 5s. I don’t have an iPhone 5s.

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

Two days is not enough time for a weekend.

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

RT if you're suppose to be doing homework right now.

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

I just
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
don't give a shit

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

I met Eminem once, he was pretty awkward; His palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms were heavy, vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti.

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

Me: I'm too full to eat anymore.
Food: Are you sure.
Me: No.

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

iPhone 5c or iPhone 5s? Which one is cooler?
http://t.co/FG37SRROHi

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

I'm only a morning person on December 25th.

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

Time goes by fast when you're avoiding homework

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

I hate it when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus.

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

Nothing says "I'm a fat ass" like wearing a T-shirt in a swimming pool.

[Jonah Hill @hiIIjonah]

When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it..