high as a mother

when our families hit the hay, we hit the vape pen. 💨

[high as a mother @highasamother]

when your ma cut your bangs and you’re looking real fly. #UFC246

[high as a mother @highasamother]

@erastourticks I’ll take a Chicago code if anyone has one

[high as a mother @highasamother]

Hey @tomsegura and @bertkreischer you gotta sign this cool guy to 2 Bears Sports Entertainment right away.

[Governor Larry Hogan @GovLarryHogan]

To represent my eight years serving as governor and to commemorate Taekwondo Day in Maryland, I showed off my Taekwondo ‘mastery’ by breaking through eight boards labeled “toxic politics.”

[high as a mother @highasamother]

@taylorswift13 should do what Garth Brooks did with his tour - all prices the same! Help a sister out! Stick it to the man!

[high as a mother @highasamother]

I hope @MeloraHardin dances to THAT ONE NIGHT on @DancingABC.

[high as a mother @highasamother]

Hey @tomsegura - some lady at your show just told me that we have to have our masks on when we chew our food because the comedian said so. Please confirm.

[high as a mother @highasamother]

I think David schwimmer and @DaneCook have the same plastic surgeon. Maybe stylist, too. #HBOMax #JenniferAniston #FriendsReunion

[high as a mother @highasamother]

You know your foods gonna suck when your dasher is waiting for the order. @DoorDash

[high as a mother @highasamother]

I hope @onepeloton appreciates Cody Rigsby because he really is the brand

[high as a mother @highasamother]

There’s nothing worse than an @UberEats driver calling you. You know it’s bad news. And who the fuck wants to talk. TEXT ME

[high as a mother @highasamother]

Why does Old Navy have obnoxious side tags. @OldNavy

[high as a mother @highasamother]

I’ve highlighted all of the questions I have, @blakeshelton

[high as a mother @highasamother]

@MrBeastYT gives more folks more money than @senatemajldr

[high as a mother @highasamother]

Remember clubs? What a weird concept.

[high as a mother @highasamother]

I feel like any business can go under and blame it on the pandemic at this point. Like an easy way out.

[high as a mother @highasamother]

I miss Live PD. @LivePdFans

[high as a mother @highasamother]

Guarantee nadav is every single positive review for drum line on rotten tomatoes #YMHLive

[high as a mother @highasamother]

I wish @texasroadhouse would bring back their family meals.

[high as a mother @highasamother]

Why is https://t.co/3opCyB9wWO’s office look like a dump? He’s gotta be loaded. @TLC give the man a raise. #600lblife

[high as a mother @highasamother]

You know what’s underrated? @McDonalds Hot Mustard. It’s like a spicy @ChickfilA sauce.

[high as a mother @highasamother]

We needs some more drive up options, @Target. I know you got some Coke Zero in there.