Hilarie Rhea

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

@GardnerDorton Happy Birthday, G 💛

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

“If you hear your name in vain
It’s me looking for you again
Crushed beneath the Spirit wind
From glory to glory to glory to glory”
@andysquyres

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

“We change to the degree we see both the foolishness of our idolatry and the beckoning beauty of God’s waiting heart.” Dan Allender

[Shane Claiborne @ShaneClaiborne]

26 years ago today.

On September 19,1997 -- musical legend Rich Mullins died in a tragic car accident.

Here's a little tribute I wrote to Rich...

I know many of you don't know his name -- he died before you were born... he lived before the internet was much of a thing... before Facebook, way before Twitter, etc. I know it's hard to imagine that ancient world back in the 1900s.
But Rich Mullins is a name I want us to pass on to our kids and grandkids.

He had Quaker roots, and you could hear his disdain for violence in his songs, with lyrics like: "Why do the nations rage? Why do they plot and scheme? The bullets can't stop the prayers we pray in the name of the Prince of Peace."

He often joked about how surprising it was that so many evangelicals took him seriously. He said things that--even though they came straight from the Gospels-- were at odds with what had come to characterize much of evangelicalism in the 1980s and 1990s.

Here's one of my favorite quotes:
“Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in your beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere near you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken... This, I know, will go against the teachings of all the popular evangelical preachers. But they're wrong. They are not bad, they're just wrong.” -- Rich Mullins (he said that in the 1990s)

I can remember when I was at Wheaton College. Rich spoke in chapel and told this very evangelical audience essentially this: "You're all into the 'born-again' thing. And that's great -- Jesus said that to a man named Nicodemus, to enter the Kingdom of God you need to be born again... But if you tell me that I've got to be born again, I can tell you that you need to sell everything you have and give it to the poor. Because Jesus said that to one guy too. But I guess that's why God invented highlighters... so we can highlight the parts we like."

That's what I love about Rich -- he spoke truth, and laughed as he did it. He had the winsomeness of a kid, and the wisdom of an elder.

There's an old story about Rich and his buddy riding on a train. As they travelled, they began to share some of their deepest struggles, pouring out their souls, including some of the not-so-pretty stuff. As they arrived at the station, one of the passengers in front of them recognized Rich, and said, "Excuse me, are you Rich Mullins?" Rich said that he immediately began to rehearse in his mind all of the things she might have heard him say... and he had to decide whether or not he was Rich Mullins. And of course, he looked her in the face, smiling, and said, "Yes... I am Rich Mullins." He owned his funk, and he gave us permission to own ours.

He struggled with his own darkness, loneliness, sexuality. And because of that, he is an inspiration to all ragamuffins. He's a reminder that the world out there is not looking for Christians who are perfect, but they are looking for Christians who are honest.

When people remind me that the church is full of hypocrites I often say -- inspired by Rich-- "No we aren't full of hypocrites... we always have room for more." Rich Mullins reminds us that this whole Christian thing is not about how good we are, but how good God is. The Church is a bunch of imperfect people falling in love with a perfect God, and hopefully becoming more like the one we Love.

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

“Change does not happen through trying to trick ourselves out of a story we have been groomed to rehearse through our developing years.” @hillarylmcbride

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

“The gospel of genetic causation shields us from having to confront our hurts, leaving us all the more at their mercy.” Gabor Mate

[Kori Carew @koricarew]

Today is a good day to remind us all that, “Trauma decontextualized in a person over time can look like personality. Trauma decontextualized in a family over time can look like family traits. Trauma decontextualized in a people over time can look like culture.” @ResmaaMenakem

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

@KatieSTrout @NotinOurChurch1 I get this deeply. It is mind-boggling to consider these things in hindsight. I’m so sorry for the massively unloving passivity that missed and failed to protect you.

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

@JBsTwoCents That's simplified of course. Our kids will be angry and act out of anger many times in their lives. Who else is gonna model for them how to navigate that, even retroactively? Just my thought. ❤️

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

@JBsTwoCents "Did it feel sad when I yelled? (my kids are young so I still help them find feeling words) I'm so sorry I hurt you. It's hard for you when I bug you about clean shorts, and it's hard for me when you argue about that. Any ideas for how it can go better for both of us next time?"

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

@JBsTwoCents The most important part is the repair. There will be rupture - we will take our anger out on our kids at times - but will we repair? Will we transparently share with them what really was happening for us, help them narrate how it felt for them, and repair?

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

@R_Denhollander For context, his "soldier" frustration came from reading about the acts of the Roman soldiers in the crucifixion story in the Jesus Story Book Bible. We have had some clarifying/nuancing conversations since ;)

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

@R_Denhollander I logged bedtime banter with my at the time 5 year old son a couple years ago. Such good content.

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

@AndrewPeterson @wingfeathersaga I finished book 4 last night, and man, I am going to be emotionally processing for a while. Started the books to see if they were age appropriate for my little ones, but ended up voraciously consuming them for myself. They are absolutely beautiful. Thank you!

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

@pauljpastor I love this! I think it’s true for counselors, too.

[Sam Jolman @SamJolman]

We begin healing not with, "What's wrong with me?" but "What do I want?"

Desire and not shame must fuel our change. Always.

[chuck degroat @chuckdegroat]

“Listen--are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?”

— Mary Oliver

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

@angiekayhong This is so well written, well explained. The good, hard work you’ve done to heal is obvious. Thank you for sharing.

[Hilarie Rhea @hilarierhea]

@kjramseywrites Yes!!!