hiscuriousmind

just another tumblr refugee (sensualsmutkink) bi+ man in an ever changing dynamic. sex/poly life/etc. NSFW. GGG. (he/him/his)

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

The back and forth of what may or may not be the end of a relationship is exhausting. A good night - but given the circumstances, exhausting.

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

Good lord do I not miss the dating with one person as the steed gives you a different route. I’m in garbage time right now

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

What do you do when your primary relationship seems like it’s failing and you have ample opportunity with potential secondary partners?

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

I’m so over months of relationship drama. Not to mention the state of the world. Maybe I’ll go live in the woods

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

For fucks sake. Too much back and forth with my primary partner. Do I even want to be with her? Do I want to be with anyone?

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

Trying not to text your most recent crush/flirtatious sitch while you’re both mad at your current partner and horny is a mental Olympics I will always fail at. Already fucked that up days ago. Re-reading messages sent hours later and feeling embarrassed keeps me from repeating.

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

I already have wants/desires that, given the opportunity I would explore in the coming weeks. Not outside the realms of our relationship type - but given the circumstances, might be the best course of action. Which sadly may mirror my ex’s way of thinking.

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

There were like 36 hours of ���eh, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this is just the ebb and flow of a relationship” type feelings but a return to the same trough after thinking we had the essentials of that worked out tells me some things are just unattainable.

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

I. Deserve. Better. I. Want. Better. I. Expect. Better. And I need to remind myself that no matter the hows and whys of why things with my ex ended the way they did - I have every right to have my own needs, desires, and expectations.

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

And days later - after needing “snuggles” and “affirmation” - spending some time with friends after hearing that they’re just concerned about you, bringing that up at 90% asleep watching old ass TV and starting a fight out of nowhere but yet again not letting a conversation end.

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

Imagine being a partner who tells their over half they have to find a different place to stay that night, getting mad you don’t come home, hiding the lock box, and then being upset that you openly admit to thinking the relationship may have run its course.

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

Every night. Every single night. A fight happens. Over the dumbest shit. We’ve gone back and forth so many times over the last few weeks and I just know we’re at the end but don’t know how to move forward.

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

Good lord do I want to fuck the person I’m 98% likely to cheat on my partner with in the next few weeks. We’ll all see what disasters are on their way

[✨✨ @EVA24011]

What are you going to be for Halloween?

Me: A ZOMBIE!!!🧟‍♀️

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

Than in-between shit is what kills me. Today she had zero memory of the fight about nothing we had after walking home last night. Tonight’s another end of night/too drunk to remember type fight about nothing. This needs to end or I’m out. Even though I can’t afford it.

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

I was afraid some of my reasoning may have been the fact that I’ve been getting hit on more from being out on my own (and that still may have been a reasoning behind my own review) - but that means something different than the shitty basic, self interest reasoning.

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

I am so fucking over my current relationship with my partner I live with. I’ve been back and forth for a couple of months given her shitty work situation but it’s now very clear our issues go far beyond that. I have interest in happiness for all. She has interest in misery.

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

tick, tick… BOOM! is the All That Jazz of our generation.

[hiscuriousmind @hiscuriousmind]

Best day with my partner in over a month but still can’t stop thinking about an alternative life.