trusted authority figure

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[Rob Zands @RobZands]

After a surprisingly pleasant telephone conversation with Graham @Glinner Linehan (set up by our legal teams) I am delighted to confirm that Mr Linehan has apologised for his defamatory tweet. He has also agreed to donate a significant sum to a trans support charity of my choice.

[BRYN_BORANGA @BRYN_BORANGA]

Jeremy Clarkson, every other day: oohhh I'm on the bones of my arse, aaargghhh why God whyyy

Jeremy Clarkson, on A level results day: I am tweeting this from my solid gold bed, which doubles as a fully functioning Lamborghini, following a rimjob from my robot butler

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@SkyedOKC LeMickey is no fool. Why get his next team to spend assets acquiring him? He joins in free agency then just gets them to "empty the bag" on his teammates, leaving the previous assetless wasteland behind

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@SamMartinFPL This has become one of the silliest takes in cricket. Just say he's had a bad 12 months in tests/FC (by his standards). Why does everyone have to be Aggers

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@Telephantix @RepThomasMassie Except wages of course

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@BoyGeorge @DUALIPA You're gonna get rinsed radiator boy lol. You're gonna be bankrupt

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@EdwardLon69 @VeitchAeternis He tried that - sent embarrassing letters willing to disown his views to get back his job as a banker. Back when he was a 9/11 truther anarchist

[Dli_odoir @Dli_ODoir]

@xannon199 @stonefish1234 Boy George: I will write the worst song ever
Banjo nonce: hold my craft beer

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@nocontextfm1 x x u ok hun x x snakes everywear 🐍🐍🐍

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@brodders_be Congratulations on your million pound house. No, you don't need a tax refund. Sorry you'll be paying a little more in tax every year

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@veritasPLANET @PolitlcsUK It would need to be more than 500k before you start to lose out

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@tra4planb @PostmodernRogue @ehannah0 @PolitlcsUK Saint-Nazaire looks stunning - and they're Mackems!

Our twin in Hemel is basically a giant shopping centre in Germany. Pass

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@tra4planb @PostmodernRogue @ehannah0 @PolitlcsUK Coventry is twinned with 26 international cities

[Zack Polanski @ZackPolanski]

Its only outrageous if you think the Palestinian people aren't people.

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@zweigdonaldson Sorry but the one on the right is clearly Tim Henman

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@CeilNoyle Well, that senior Tory's name was Sir Alan Duncan

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@ixatara He's suffered an "anterior cruciate ligament" - we are all suffering Charlie

[onion person @CantEverDie]

@envisionedluna saying “shes growing on me” all on the same day, checks cleared

[trusted authority figure @Hitheregoize]

@ShamsCharania Where LeMickey going Shams. Stealing a living