Robert Zands

Academic and girl dad. Red wine, electric guitar, middle distance running. Abusive trolls will be reported and suspended.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

On 01 November, I falsely claimed to be an area manager for the chain pub, Wetherspoons. I wrongly claimed I had decided to ban English/Union Jack flags. This was a joke in poor taste and could have caused harm. I am sorry and have agreed to donate to https://t.co/sxV7NuIioy

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@RupertLowe10 @KayBurley Tick tock Rupey.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@RupertLowe10 Tick tock, old man. Gas tank is running low. Kids waiting in the wings ready to fight like dogs over your estate.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

The lucky ducks!! I have always wanted to do this!!!!

[BAZAKE @BazakeMedia]

🚨 | BREAKING: Manchester United executives and formula 1 "superfans" Omar Berrada and Jason Wilcox are rumoured to have landed a once-in-a-lifetime experience of racing the Monaco Grand Prix this weekend. The streets will be closed to the general public for the race duration.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

Is Monaco a country?

[Samplo Corvodina of Streatham @TreborRhurbarb]

One of the many business efficiencies Jim Ratcliff has brought to Manchester United Football Club is staff having to travel to a different country to suggest sacking a manager 36 hours after the news broke that they are sacking him.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@drkevindunce @GreggAWallace In a suit??? Im not actually criticising, let's be clear!

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

Breakfast wine! Chapeau.

[Gregg Wallace @GreggAWallace]

What does a good life look like to you? For me at my age, it’s three things. Financial security, adventures and downtime.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@drkevindunce @GreggAWallace Why is he drinking wine at 7.40am? I mean glass houses etc but that might even be a touch early for me!

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@sleafordmods Gen Xs in Asics is your entire fanbase.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@BRYN_BORANGA It's probably a bit more like the elephant man saying he doesn't particularly like Audrey Hepburn's nose. Her lips are nice enough.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@pdmccartin @batcountry1980 @sleafordmods The banal? What are you on about.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@DigitalVagrant No mate.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@levantet_ Israel is a good British ally. Right up your street surely?

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

Aside from the poppy being adopted as a badge of white british identity, the act of war itself is inherently political. So to commemerate those who died in war is intrinsically political.

[Crypto Froglet @Cryptotadpole2]

@RobZands people say the poppy is politically motivated or a political symbol...but they don't actually articulate how.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

And I get the dogs abuse on this website!?

[OFFICIAL TAFF GOOSE FUTSAL ACADEMY ⚽ 🇧🇷 BOOK NOW @TaffGoose]

You wouldn't let a dog suffer like Michael Carrick is right now. It's inhumane. I'd tenderly stroke his face, whisper what a good boy he's been, tell him he's going to gently go to sleep and then lay him out on the road and drive over his head
Hopefully do it in one go 👍

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@sallyanna25 HAAAAAMMMMAAAAASS

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

On 08 November, I falsely claimed to be the owner of a delicious deli in Knutsford. I claimed I had decided to ban staff from wearing the poppy. This was a joke and has caused a considerable amount of vitriol. I apologise and have agreed to donate to https://t.co/Kkzs9sr9CI

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@Christo69493021 Chris. Calm down pal. You are very angry for some unknown reason.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@Christo69493021 you'll be going to twitter jail soon Christopher.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@Christo69493021 I'm sad and pathetic? Read your posts.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@Christo69493021 Reported.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@sleafordmods You like Guns n Roses.

[Robert Zands @RobZands]

@Davidreesrj0b Daddy Elon pweeeassse save our lickle Tommy. Maybe the funniest post I have ever seen. Maybe.