subroto mukherjee

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

Breeze or no breeze, the best way to enjoy our Kite-Flying Festival is to eat and drink so much, you produce enough wind to fly a kite.

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

In India, survey shows that most ads for face-wash, skin-wash, hair-wash and mouth-wash are misleading. In other words, they are all eye-wash and hog-wash!

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

HAPPY NEW EAR!
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Trust me you'll need it -- a new EAR --thanks to the deafening noise pollution!

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

Trash Talker Trump
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Trump called Somalians 'garbage'. Now don't even ask what the Somalians called him. Their terms of endearment for Trump were . . . well . . . absolutely unprintable!

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

So What's New?
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The Rupee is falling. The Rupee is in free fall. We keep hearing the same thing and every time I hear this, I say the same thing -- hope it falls into my hands!

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

IndiGo airlines cancelled hundreds of flights, leaving thousands of poor passengers stranded at airports across the country. And other airlines jacked up their fares to the sky!

Ho ho ho. Welcome to India, the new wonder land of opportunities -- and quick-to-profit OPPORTUNISTS!

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

In suburban Mumbai, female constables help a woman in labour to deliver her baby on the pavement. On the pavement! Are you kidding me? How could they deliver a baby on the pavement? Is there any city pavement that's FREE from racing bikes, parked vehicles, hawkers, stalls, etc?

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

All Bark No Bite
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An MP is stopped from entering when she arrives at Parliament with her docile pet dog. Waving aside the security concerns raised, she says those inside are more likely to bite.

No, more likely, those inside have a bark worse than their bite.

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

Poor Not So Poor
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Thanks to the prevailing smog, visibility is poor in New Delhi streets. But thanks to this poor visibility, pickpockets and purse-snatchers are NO LONGER POOR out there.

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

American TV comedian, Conan O'Brien, passed through Mumbai. While here, he played gully cricket. Danced with Bollywood dancers. Then a real challenge. Conan the Comedian had to morph into Conan the Barbarian -- just so he could barge his way into a packed local train for a ride.

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

Exorcist Again
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Hollywood to remake that chilling horror classic, the Exorcist. This time the story is about the American President pleading with the exorcist to expel the ghost of Epstein haunting the President's life!

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

Epstein died 5 years back. But this is one dead man who is refusing to lie still in his grave and play dead! His ghost is on the prowl, giving the creeps to many prominent men in high places in the US!

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

In Thailand, a woman brought to the crematorium to be cremated was found to be moving! Yeah, just imagine that! She was examined and found to be alive! And the doctor who had declared her dead -- well, he was also declared to be dead --- brain-dead as a medical professional!

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

A Mumbai politician complained about a mysterious spy drone hovering about his residence, peeking in through the windows. Oh, that's nothing to worry about. Unless of course a camera-fitted spy drone enters the home and starts peering into a politician's closets for skeletons!

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

Going Apes
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According to a new study, African apes discovered the pleasure of kissing 21 million years ago. So what we are doing today is simply aping them.

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

Hey, the only difference I can see is this : those apes didn't kiss anyone's backside or feet for favours or benefits. They had more self-respect than we humans do today.

[subroto mukherjee @hitwit_subroto]

Awesome Fossils
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Salman and SRK were spotted at the Dubai Museum of Natural History, checking out dinosaur fossils. Naturally, other visitors at the museum were drawn to gawk at our two, awesome, age-60, Bollywood 'fossils'.