maybe: holly

i’m just here so i don’t get fined

[soup @soupy1122]

true love is when your bellies touch

[SPANE @SperrysandNikes]

We, as a species, should be putting our greatest minds behind this effort as soon as possible

[Schwibz @schwibz]

coworker just tripped and smashed his coffee mug into the printer and said “that’s baseball”

[GORM THE OLD @GORMTHEOLD25]

Mama mia...

[m @pumptinis]

the biggest problem with stassi shroeder (besides the obvious) is that she is so deeply 2012 (derogatory)

[jackie @thejacqinthebox]

where else can you buy a curling broom, kitchen aid mixer, an oil change, a barbecue, an outboard motor, your entire garden, a gun & chocolate covered pretzels

[Grace @gracecamille_]

girl beside me on train reading something very horny on kindle. I see the word throbbing

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

made my dad watch The Backrooms and he still has not recovered from the horror of the main character being billed for the backrooms' electricity usage

[Trey the Explainer @Trey_Explainer]

Kinda giving

[lxlia @lxlyuh]

explain it to me like we're about to kiss

[Aaron @_AaronRyan]

Another banger, I’m afraid

[iya ★ @hotmessjunk]

cause you were never mine... never mind

[Skreddah @Skreddah]

I was 7 watching 1000 ways to die on Spike TV

[Burrban @IglooLane]

Bald Puff

[honeybaked @davibroui]

I thought he was saying hi to me in minionese but he’s just Italian

[McDonald's @McDonalds]

salt in the air

[i @e1iex]

1st of August
I love you

[The Big Guy @TSSteinbacher]

Oh you want to add me on SnapChat? Do you want to be friends on Neopets too, you freak pervert? Get away from me.

[Pop Base @PopBase]

august has begun.