kermi

*leapfrogs over the haters*

[kermi @hoedip]

When grandma finds out you haven't eaten for the whole day & your parents walk through the door

[kermi @hoedip]

when bae uploads a new pic

[kermi @hoedip]

gurl u have $34,000 on ur fuckin wrist what more are you searching for in life

[kermi @hoedip]

2014: slutty 12 year olds

2016: slutty 10 year olds

2020: slutty 6 year olds

2025: slutty 3 year olds

2035: slutty fetuses

[kermi @hoedip]

When you're at a party with people you don't know and your friend disappear

[kermi @hoedip]

Don't forget to use social media to say Happy Fathers Day to your father who doesn't use social media and won't see it

[kermi @hoedip]

mom: just wait in the car i'll only be 2 minutes

me:

[kermi @hoedip]

Sleeping is nice because you're not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation

[kermi @hoedip]

when you go to the bathroom during a commercial break and then you hear the show come back on

[kermi @hoedip]

help

[kermi @hoedip]

I AM CRYING

[kermi @hoedip]

Crazy girlfriends be like

[kermi @hoedip]

sorry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found

[kermi @hoedip]

This lizard looks like he's just hatched a plan to take over the world

[kermi @hoedip]

E.T. think he slick huh... we kno that's u in a wig son

[kermi @hoedip]

When someone tries to flirt with bae

[kermi @hoedip]

when u see dat booty

[kermi @hoedip]

this nigga playing subway surfers

[kermi @hoedip]

that comment

[kermi @hoedip]

me if gas prices keep going up