Michelle Hoffman

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

Can’t forget the Gatorade

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

4 years later, I found twitter again. I’m still pissed about the gravy, pancakes, and orgasm. And I’m still a dummy.

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

Why is there only two shelves of Gatorade? There should be an entire cooler. It’s Gatorade.

[Cristina Yang @leyleydaboss]

I need an orgasm and a fucking break.

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

Bitch brought her own gravy, bitch is on a diet, asked me to microwave that shit. We don’t serve gravy.

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

@sarsmeltz You always look nice, sometimes we just forget to tell you 🤦‍♀️

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

What’s your favorite brand of pancake?

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

#tiemeupandfuckmeintheass

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

Rule number one- don’t treat me like an average bitch, especially when im below average.

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

‘Is your brother a c.o. too?’ ‘No he’s not a carbon dioxide’

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

Why are you such a Richard Cranium?

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

Our literal president had a reality tv show, we are now his new reality.

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

@hlowery11 And this is why I think you’re a psychopath, still love ya though.

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

@hlowery11 How excited I am

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

@hlowery11 Not all it’s cracked up to when you have to go back to the shithole we work at 🙄

[popular slut @kindslut]

rule number 1: don’t treat me like i’m an average bitch

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

It’s a cup closet not a cupboard

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

Did anyone else black out last night or was that just me? 🤷‍♀️😂

[Michelle Hoffman @hoff_mich]

@hlowery11 So I know you’re probably not talking about me...but if the shoe fits 🤷‍♀️💁‍♀️🙈