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Wooden. Vaguely French.

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@UncleChaps @Katiemoneygrabz may we dump ours out to you?

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@Blutman27 it’s the studio decomplexion, Liam

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@jeremytache sounds like someone has a wittle crush on u

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@aherman2006 who do I contact to ensure that you are cancelled

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@StevenCheah this would’ve been the smelliest thing to happen near one of your cars since that time a poop log slipped out of your butt in a public parking lot

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@barstoolsports sexy

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a good rule of thumb in any context is that if you can close your eyes and imagine Tracy Jordan saying the thing you’re thinking of saying then you should not say that thing

[Eric Michael Garcia @EricMGarcia]

Way to bury the lede: Capriglione reportedly told his mistress that he wanted to ejaculate his “baby gravy” into batter for cookies that would be sold at his daughter's bake sale and that he enjoyed that “all of the girls in the neighborhood would be consuming” his semen.

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@snyjets @SNYtv what part of the 1.5 ypc we’d just averaged for 4 straight quarters made him think we had control of the clock

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@Connor_J_Hughes just say you messed up. I’d rather him own the mistake so that it doesn’t happen again than have him actually think he made the right decision and keep screwing up the clock like this

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@BrianCoz I can’t tell which team is playing with their food

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@KFCBarstool he looks like he’s about to be thwarted by scooby and shaggy

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@PFTCommenter i'm looking for bill belichick on the chargers sideline because if there's one thing we know about jim harbaugh it's that he wants his players to have a couple barrels of fresh milk ready to guzzle at all times

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@ZaslowShow get used to these clips cause he’s about to make a lot of appearances on your algorithm if you know what I mean

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@SportNState @ClayTravis @awfulannouncing are you pleased with yourself

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@LeBatardShow if the whites really had total control of this show there’s no way it would be disparaging Hallmark like this @SherwoodStrauss @awfulannouncing

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@Dameshek @roybelly @SherwoodStrauss can’t let a five second google get in the way of a little performative outrage. also the real discrimination happening on this show is ageism, I’ve heard how you treat @gregcote for not being able to understand fancy modern technology such as a microphone

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@jaycaspiankang @harvilla they cannot see me naaaaaaakedd

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@BCHL_Alberta @Justin346633300 @awfulannouncing ok smarty pants but have you considered who now at the @MiamiHerald is going to MAKE-A DA SALAAAD?? think with your brain

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@mikefountains Jason Sanders is doing what he can for you

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@Connor_J_Hughes I want to let myself experience joy but every time something good happens my brain whispers ‘it’s against Saleh’