Holly GoLightly

Rated L for Language, N for Nudity and S for Strong Sexual Context.

[Holly GoLightly @HoGoLightly]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 11 years, since 8 Aug 2011 (via @twi_age).

[Holly GoLightly @HoGoLightly]

@GregLee @CrissieC

[Holly GoLightly @HoGoLightly]

@SailorsSoulxx @twi_age Yes, I look forward to that day. I hear alcohol might lead to fun.

[Holly GoLightly @HoGoLightly]

@elonmusk How about Tesla becomes the first vehicle manufacturer to have a U-turn signal?

[Holly GoLightly @HoGoLightly]

@johnnynoshbravo You’re A.L.I.V.E!!! Johnny, I’ve missed you!!!

[Holly GoLightly @HoGoLightly]

@bertkreischer

For your Alabama Wet Wipes...

[Holly GoLightly @HoGoLightly]

@tommytrc hey....is this thing on??? Bueller? Bueller?

[Ramblin Mama @ramblinma]

4: Mommy, where do babies come from?

Me: Mostly alcohol and poor choices.

4: What?

Me: What?

[Melvin of York @MelvinofYork]

Mommy and I are separating, sweetheart, but you need to know that it's not your fault. Although keeping your room clean would have helped.

[Holly GoLightly @HoGoLightly]

Any day you squeegee the shower twice is either a really good day or a really bad one.

[Melvin of York @MelvinofYork]

Cop: Have you been drinking tonight, sir?

Me: Not by my standards, but maybe you should define “drinking.”

[Melvin of York @MelvinofYork]

I don’t care if you’re male or female, young or old, gay or straight– if John Cusack shows up in your yard with a boombox you gotta fuck him

[Melvin of York @MelvinofYork]

I think it’s safe to say that you’ve passed the point of no return on Twitter once someone you've never met has broken up with you.

[Anime Meme Lord @animememe_lord]

It’s a rule I just made up on the spot because I never thought I would have to make a rule about that.

- Things you say as a parent.

[Melvin of York @MelvinofYork]

If I stop answering questions with a simple “yes” or “no” and start including details you didn’t ask for it’s a good bet that I’m lying.

[Melvin of York @MelvinofYork]

A study says women average saying 7,000 words daily, men 2,000.

To be fair, half of the 7,000 comes from women repeating themselves to men.

[Holly GoLightly @HoGoLightly]

@PleasantSurpriz shit, I read that as Xanax. Same same, right?

[Holly GoLightly @HoGoLightly]

@tommytrc Oh no! That shit'll kill ya! @darlingnikki08