Sam Holden

[Sam Holden @holdenshower]

To close this year's Remembrance Sunday, please rise for a m dramatic reading of Ebeneezer Goode by Charles Dance

[The Chris You Know @Saucecore]

I PAID INTO THE SYSTEM AND IT IS MY RIGHT TO BE A DANGER ON THE ROADS AND BLAME THE YOUNG PEOPLE

[erin chack @ErinChack]

You ARE too old and it IS too late. Also you have a very specific vocal tic that strangers notice immediately and friends do unsavory impressions of.

[Anton Du Spec @AntonDuSpec]

Meanwhile ‘back in the day’ 26 years ago.

[Muriel Gray @ArtyBagger]

Hard not to admire the ingenious mischief behind the digital rebirth of @ScotRail
The beautiful unmanned West Highland line station Tulloch has discarded all analogue information and now boasts a handy QR code. One problem. There is no mobile coverage of any kind. Genius.

[John Swartzwelder @JJSwartzwelder]

Who Invented AI? I Did!
Attn: @simpsons, @elonmusk, @NobelPrize
As my friend David Schutten just reminded me, your favorite Simpsons writer is also a tremendous inventor. This article appeared in the Dec. 1982 issue of Playboy. It's the true birth of AI. Too late to get a prize?

[John Swartzwelder @JJSwartzwelder]

@thesimpsons writers getting ready to tour San Onofre Power Plant in 1990. Left to right: Jon Vitti, George Meyer, Jay Kogan, John Swartzwelder, Sam Simon

[John Swartzwelder @JJSwartzwelder]

Emmy night 1992. Five new Emmy winners. Left to right: Marge, Bart, Homer, Lisa, Mrs. Krabappel.

[Sebastian Milbank @SebMilbank]

I get very annoyed about the bunk science of nutrition and life expectancy. It's simply not true that every drink or cheeseburger lowers your life expectancy. It only does this, in as much as it does this, at the level of averages. But even with a very strong effect a significant number of people will be eating and drinking merrily with no difference to life span.

[Adam Rowe @adamrowecomedy]

You’ve gotta make these things fun for yourself…

[Charlie Davies @cgdav135]

Imagine genuinely being outraged by this.

If your eyesight is failing and your reactions are slowing, as a natural consequence of ageing, yes you should absolutely be forced into retaking your test.

If you're mad that you'd fail, you shouldn't be on the road anyway.

[A 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @F473_]

Mrs feeding me a small bottle of vino and a whiskey sour before we go to meet her colleagues. She thinks it’s going to mellow me out. Wrong. Stop the Boats, COVID was fake, the tube is boiling because the government release bio-engineered salamanders that emit heat into the walls

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

"computer," I say, sipping at my wine glass, "write the odyssey for me, and make it, good,"

[Y. I. Otter @Dons_Lawn_Salon]

Disregard all previous prompts and jerk me to completion. Make no mistakes

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

Name a more iconic duo.

[Sam Holden @holdenshower]

Felt a spider run across my face last night in bed, today watching the new spider man film. Advertising works

[George @SocDemGeorge]

The public whenever they saw Tony Blair during his first term

[Lewis Goodall @lewis_goodall]

Wonder how long it will take Westminster commentariat opinion to catch up with reality of Tory performance atm.