HOLD MY CORNBREAD

you know my swag not my story

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

Me and the boys used to listen to “Hollywood Whore” by papa roach and then go skinny dipping in the pond

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

@MrBeast Not for long fuck boy.

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

I feel the microplastics in my balls, they are taunting me

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

Annnnnd we’re back folks!

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

I ain’t preventing shit

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

I wanna get a loss prevention job at Walmart and just let those crackheads go absolutely buck wild

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

@fauxrandon Someone tell this guy about strike anywhere matches so he keeps that phosphorus out of his mouth

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

My main goal in life rn is to adopt 5 kids with downs.

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

Just pooped out idek what the fuck. Looked like alien or demon eggs smh. I DEFINITELY flushed them thangs down

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

I’m smoking crank, duct taping butcher knives to my hands and putting all my money down on a car I will inevitably have repossessed due to my inability to make monthly payments because I’m too busy doing the aforementioned activities. Bruno Mars might pass away tomorrow:(

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

@fauxrandon They are preparing for the next fatherless child

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

Pulled up to my oops hood with a Scottsbluff and an atlatl. Going straight prehistoric on these YNs. Trade routes getting cut off yerrrrrrd

[Facts for Farmers @FactsForFarmers]

@HmpxvT They have no ice to live on and now this…

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

That whole town vanished from lack of pussy

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

I find it very hard to believe they managed to actually get any pilgrim bitches on the mayflower

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

we the same fr lmao

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

Swear to god I got pachycephalosaurus vibes… born in the wrong generation smh

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

Woke up feeling blessed today as I was born early enough to experience young thugs 2016 shit. The new generation will never understand the things I felt that summer.

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

We done came along away from food stamps and zero income assistance forms getting saved in the documents

[HOLD MY CORNBREAD @holdmycornbread]

@fauxrandon Threw out a perfectly good crockpot