C. Holland

I am a grumpy 82 year old man trapped in the body of a grumpy 62 year old man.

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

there's a new broken social scene album and i'm having a panic attack. It's like i'm in college all over again!

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

am i ever going to get to see highclere castle in real life or is my life actualy over

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

It's the one day a year where the news media is allowed to lie!

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

.@KelseyGrammer do u think lillith is a zionist ?

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

still do not understand why Jimmy Eat World needs a whole country to themselves in the middle east

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

u ever worried your leftovers have gone bad so you just microwave them for a really long time to kill all the diseases?

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

@Shell_Canada just got charged 7 cents a litre more than the sign at Overlea and Don Mills (pump is after swiping my CAA card). What the hell?

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

why is everyone so angry at german trains right now

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

Can u imagine the vibes being immaculate? I can not.

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

Are Wes and Al Borland related?

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

@kevinolearytv Hit him with your boat! That’ll teach him!

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

Bob Vila’s IMDB is wild.

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

me rn

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

it is not fair that my blood pressure keeps going up and up and charlie kirk’s keeps going down and down

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

this city is trying to kill me but joke’s on it i’m going to kill myself before it gets the chance

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

don’t worry, canada. the tsunami will put out the forest fires

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

The only two people who have ever had me pegged are Frasier Crane and my wife.

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

if any more evidence of trump being a pedo comes out he’s gonna have to move to israel

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

just took one of those poops that's so long it makes me wonder if my body is a tardis

[C. Holland @hollandoates___]

Will a tide-to-go pen get a four-year-old shart stain out of a pair of white jeans? Asking for a friend.