𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ .

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 ⠀𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆 ⠀ 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆 ?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀🍂 ⠀⠀⠀🧋⠀⠀⠀⠀🍂⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

ㅤ
⠀ 𓄼 𝐰hat’s your 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞 🌼 .ᐣ .ᐣ .ᐣ .ᐣ
𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔 that won’t let you 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏,
⠀ 🅣🅗🅐🅣’🅢 🅐🅛🅛 🅜🅔, 🅑🅞🅨
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

——

says quietly, dipping her head down.

“ hopefully you have it figured out for the next girl. ”

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

each question he asked had crossed her mind a million times before. the day, night, week after she had hit him for his mistreatment of her heart were all filled with questions of why. why him? why did she linger? why was she even attached? Adelaide had self respect. she knew

——

[ᅠᅠᅠᅠ‍ ⸂ ݁ ‍🔬 ‍ ˖ ࣪ @plaisantgrey]

⠀
He hadn’t understood till this point that his uncertainty was the problem. Here he was under the impression it was the feelings themselves .. he really was jarringly inexperienced to navigate these sorts of things, wasn’t he? But what could he really expect ... ➜
⠀

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

——

when I’ve already spelled it out. I don’t have the time or energy to spend on this anymore, so .. let’s just leave it here and go our own ways. you’re just too far from what I need emotionally, so I can’t wait for you to catch up. nothing else matters now, ” Adelaide

——

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

——

against her cheek then she swipes a sleeve over the trails.

“ you really suck, you know? I had hope that you’d say something, but you’re still the same. you can’t even commit now but you keep saying these things that mess with me. you’re the worst. ”

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

is it so unbearable? is having feelings for a womanizing and inconsiderate man who can’t even hope to meet your expectations of the bare minimum unbearable? is dating their best friend as a placeholder because of a stubbornness not to admit to holding feelings unbearable?

——

[ᅠᅠᅠᅠ‍ ⸂ ݁ ‍🔬 ‍ ˖ ࣪ @plaisantgrey]

⠀
Suppose it was his own comeuppance that Luka’s chest felt weighed down too. An awareness spreading throughout him that was like disappointment and regret injected straight into his veins.

It was going to be ineffective since it’s what got them here, but he ... ➜
⠀

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

——

it’s all unbearable. these feelings have thrown a wrench into her plans. she was supposed to meet someone respectable that her dads would like in her thirties. here she is crying over some man who can’t even realize how his uncertainty hurts her. fingertips touch the tears

—

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

——

felt hollow, like her heart had sunk through her.

“ that’s all I needed to hear. I’ll get going first. I don’t really want to be near you right now, ” she states with a heavy tongue, swallowing back a lump that makes it hard to breathe while she stands from her seat.

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

he’s avoided her eyes. it’s the initial impression that only leads to his roundabout and dismissive answer. she has to brush her hair away from her eyes, looking to the side. if she had only felt mad then she would’ve known that she’d have more regret than anyrhing.

now she

——

[ᅠᅠᅠᅠ‍ ⸂ ݁ ‍🔬 ‍ ˖ ࣪ @plaisantgrey]

⠀
“ ... ”

That feverish sensation resurfaced as their eyes met. Too many times he’s had those olive colored eyes feature in his dreams lately that it briefly took him out of it, grounding himself eventually through looking someplace else.

“ Things like ... ➜
⠀

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

“ what feelings? ”

a loaded question. if he can regard difference between his feelings, adelaide wonders if he can put a name. she looks torn, half eagerly expectant and half empty disappointment, when she forces her eyes to his face.

it had to be closure. that’s all it was.

[ᅠᅠᅠᅠ‍ ⸂ ݁ ‍🔬 ‍ ˖ ࣪ @plaisantgrey]

⠀
“ Maybe I’m trying to make sense of it, ” he found himself watching her hands.

“ Think of it like holding my feelings accountable. Since I haven’t been very good at it up until now, I think you’d agree. ”
⠀

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

“ then why bother saying it? there’s always a reason for doing anything. ”

Adelaide pinches her ends to separate some of the strands. an obvious tactic for avoidance. she can’t even think what she might see if she meets his eyes or worse — how it might make her feel or act.

[ᅠᅠᅠᅠ‍ ⸂ ݁ ‍🔬 ‍ ˖ ࣪ @plaisantgrey]

⠀
He feels like he’s been snowballing recently, between standing her and Reid together less and less and being told she’s moving on to the academy .. he hardly knows himself these days.

“ Just .. ignore me if you need to, I’m not saying it to get anything out of you. ”
⠀

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

all she can do is blink at him. new behavior and change were recommended, but it feels like a full 180 that somehow still ended up at the same Luka. he swore by words of honey.

[ᅠᅠᅠᅠ‍ ⸂ ݁ ‍🔬 ‍ ˖ ࣪ @plaisantgrey]

⠀
⠀⠀⠀ *﹑✒️ 𓂃 @honeyedcore
⠀

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

——

just disappear. I’ll just be busier off campus. less convenient than now. I’ll have weekends now and again, plus no relationship can be cultivated properly without effort and care. I’m not just gonna give up on all the time and energy I’ve spent on people. ”

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

“ I was just fucking with you, Luka. ”

she rarely felt happy for her father when he had to work overtime to afford all the other children he had planted in the world so she didn’t expect anyone to be particularly glad that she’d be gone. Adelaide definitely didn’t want him

——

[ᅠᅠᅠᅠ‍ ⸂ ݁ ‍🔬 ‍ ˖ ࣪ @plaisantgrey]

⠀
“ A ─ ah .. sorry, I really am happy for you, ” feeling like he needed to do some recovery here as to not put a damper on what should be good news, Luka reengages his posture and gives another go at being convincingly glad for her. Maybe because his face is ... ➜
⠀

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

——

to be happy she was leaving. he had to miss her for all the distance that falls between them until she feels like he’s learned how hard she had it.

fingers tuck some hair behind the shell of her ear. the topic makes it feel safe to look at him again.

“ I’m not going to

——

[𓂃 𝖆del 🏷️ . @honeyedcore]

hair grows back, and my forehead isn’t so big that it’ll look awful. I wouldn’t recommend a perm for you. maybe just try layered bangs instead of straight cut.

[ᅠᅠᅠᅠ‍ ⸂ ݁ ‍💜 ‍ ˖ ࣪ @heartievied]

⠀
Snff .. you’d really do that? Why do I feel like you’d pull it off so much better because you have curls though. I feel like I just end up looking like a martian. Should I get a perm?
⠀

[you can call me fairy @mesky501]

me and who?