You see proximity?
Yes, proximity. That's all it takes for your wife or girlfriend to do something contrary to your marital vows or promises. And vice versa.
While factors like status and looks compel attraction, proximity operationalises it. It sets it in motion.
In proximity, conversations happen. Gestures are made. Assistance is rendered. Compliments flow. Familiarity grows. And with this, what once existed as a mere inkling magnifies into feeling and desire.
This is why your girlfriend gets into the university and suddenly becomes "busy" all the time. She is crushing on someone, talking to someone with whom she now shares proximity.
Because attraction is not destiny. It is simply two people, in the same place, at the same time, finding each other sufficiently safe to risk vulnerability. Human beings are always looking to take that risk. Emotion merely supplies the excuse.
But what is the message in all of this?
The message is simple and straightforward: principles are easy when proximity is absent.
"I trust my woman."
"I don't check my woman's phone."
"She can have as many male friends as she likes."
These convictions are often made in the comfort of distance, before life introduces that co-worker, classmate, business partner, a neighbour, gym instructor, or the FRIENDLY superior at Work.
The real threat to a relationship is rarely attraction in isolation. Attraction is common. Proximity is what gives attraction the opportunity to negotiate with conscience.
This is why wise men do not merely manage feelings; they manage circumstances.
Because loyalty is easier maintained at a distance than it is tested in constant proximity.
Check that f*cking phone early enough. Tell her you see her conversation with a particular colleague and it's too personal. Look for the signs. And make your warnings early.
But then, I have said enough.
Good luck. Or, congratulations.
I was talkin to a girl for a few weeks one time n when I went to pick her up for the first date, we got like ten minutes up the road n she said sumn like โion know if i feel like being out frโ. I replied โi feel youโ n immediately took her back home n spent the rest of the night getting โyouโre sensitiveโ n โI ainโt mean it like thatโ texts. Idc. All I gotta do is sniff Iโm more into you than you are fw me n itโs clipped. Yall niggas are just desperate n have no dignity. Ida left expeditiously