jack lamoot

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

The Push Up ice cream company should just buy out Pringles and make all of our lives easier. http://t.co/LkS9rBsLX1

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

http://t.co/t9wPvhFjvQ Is it true that Martha Washington had wooden boobs?

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

http://t.co/za4vzVVcuA Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn't even listening to you.

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

http://t.co/pDDMWQQjEC If Twitter was a country, its flag would just have a bunch of poop and bacon and beer on it.

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

Since I can't afford porn, I just turn on tennis and shut my eyes. http://t.co/qhceFHeAqi

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

“Do you have this in beige?” - old people http://t.co/Kp980z9pP6

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

http://t.co/EURWuto2IC Is there anything sexier than a woman who reads? Yes: Models.

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

http://t.co/uHhpXqxhjG Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass.

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

http://t.co/rLYSSjirQv "It's not you, it's me. " - twins looking at family photos

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

http://t.co/2ADDy0xEZW Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity.

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

http://t.co/R4sNAMF7 Hey kids, don't forget to look both ways before getting hit by a car.

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

http://t.co/bw5I385j ‎"Spelt" is a type of wheat. "Spelled" is what you just did incorrectly.

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

Excuse me, miss, you’ve got a little bit of face on your makeup there. http://t.co/20MwS1mI

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

http://t.co/ZAR1h4O4 Smoke alarms are really just toast alarms.

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

"Say no to Lindsay Lohan" - Drugs http://t.co/Jn7eRSKj

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

http://t.co/Ekd81g4i "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" - Me pulling my spoiled unruly son out of the Apple Store

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

If it was the Well Constructed Tower of Pisa, no one would give a shit. http://t.co/pCIor2xO

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

Wow! cnbc10home . com

[jack lamoot @hotfire]

mining my business