Hot Old Dad

wisdom for the unwise / not old not a dad

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

Due to the spread of Coronavirus, I’m announcing that I will not be playing in any upcoming NBA games, nor will I be competing in any rodeo events, and I am postponing my Netflix special which was set to be filmed in Europe. Big thank you to my fans for being so understanding.

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

@teroyaeason I think they all get a ribbon!

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

@Failed_Messiah This aged poorly

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

@Anna421552 @NBCSKings A “match” of basketball

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

Rounding up or rounding down proves that math is for liars

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

Hoping will smith smacks me so I can make 3 million dollars

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

When I said lol I meant that shit literally

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

Oh you’re all about zero waste and sustainability? Explain why you don’t eat your boogers then… you just throwing them away?

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

@clichedout Was this guy named @toddbarry

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

My favorite life hack is moving out of Texas

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

I like when you send someone a meme sitting directly across from them because they’re forced to acknowledge it

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

Videos of people handing a homeless guy a lot of cash purely for the views are the absolute lamest shit ever

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

It’s day 10,960 of never donating to a gofundme. Many have died but my streak lives forever.

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

Learning from robots how to become self aware

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

Monster trucks are wrestling culture but the activity is actually real

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

Why is Google asking me to post the menu every time I go to a restaurant? What’s in it for me? Literally pay me and I’ll do it

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

Can you imagine how much better life would have been with a weed pen in high school? These kids got it so easy

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

If a chef ever uses “comfort food” in anyway to describe their style… get the fuck out of there

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

Why do some people from the Midwest try to stay current with trends? Like for what 🤨🤚

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

Love that feeling when Travis Twitt hits you with that second “awooooo”

[Hot Old Dad @hotolddad]

Short legged long torsoed dogs should be illegal