HowlingJoker @howlingjoker0 - Twitter Profile

HowlingJoker @HowlingJoker0

about 21 hours ago

@HowlingBizarro You're welcome 🤗

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HowlingJoker @HowlingJoker0

1 day ago

Tap and Hold the image

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Evil HowlingGrimace

@EvilHowlerGrim

about 24 hours ago

On my 13th birthday, the minimum age allowed by law, Under the most advanced biometric and fertility protocols ever developed by John Hopkins University, my results weren’t just exceptional - they were classified as anomalous. Sperm count clocked in at 1.2 billion per milliliter, a figure so far beyond the standard clinical range it triggered a retest, which confirmed it. Total ejaculate volume averaged 34.6 milliliters, with a thick, gelatinous consistency noted for its extreme viscosity and density. Motility was measured at 98.7%, with morphology showing near-perfect form across all samples. Lab notes referenced “superfecundity markers rarely seen outside of theoretical modeling.” Testosterone levels exceeded 1,400 ng/dL, with free testosterone far above the 99.999th percentile. My recovery time between emissions was under four minutes, fully refractory within three. Erection quality and vascular response were labeled “hyperfunctional.” As for endowment: erect length measured 13.5 inches, with a girth of 8.1 inches at midpoint, placing me in a percentile not previously charted by the program. Flaccid, I measured just under 8 inches. Medical staff took detailed scans and still repeated measurements manually. Twice. The official report didn’t bother with euphemism: “Subject is a reproductive outlier. Genetic, anatomical, and hormonal profile is hyper-dominant.” At my verified capacity, 4 to 6 natural matings per day, 5 to 6 days per week, I would average 1,300 to 1,500 sessions annually. With my fertility profile (sperm count over 1.2 billion/mL, motility at 98.7%, and a volume of 34.6 mL) the expected conception rate was above 70% per encounter. That meant at least 900 to 1,100 confirmed pregnancies in the year ahead. The lead researcher wrote in bold letters across my file cover page: “Cornerstone of a generation. Recommend immediate deployment.”

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HowlingKanye

@HowlingKanye

1 day ago

Sometimes I'll replay an argument from years ago and realize the other guy actually had a pretty good point. Then I imagine him having gay sex so it doesn't matter.

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