Hannah Johnson

Attorney/weird HR lady

[Hannah Johnson @hpmjohnson]

@HyVee we will now spend significantly less time and money at hyvee and go to fareway closer to home instead. Disappointing choice after cutting out wahlburgers and coming out with a new menu

[Hannah Johnson @hpmjohnson]

@hyvee we were just informed that you are closing all in store bars/restaurants. We often choose to shop at hyvee 10 mins away from home over fareway which is 2 mins away specifically because we can go sit with our kids and have a drink/snack.

[Hannah Johnson @hpmjohnson]

@BlueMoonBrewCo Please bring back harvest pumpkin 😭 we loved it so much we served it at our October wedding

[Hannah Johnson @hpmjohnson]

😂😂

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

From the guy who brought you “the reason there are so many cases is because we are doing too many tests” comes the new hit single “I’m only losing because they’re counting all the votes against me”

[Hannah Johnson @hpmjohnson]

@Pepper_Johnson

[Yooty @yooty]

Cool cool cool https://t.co/Lib4QEzmpL

[Hannah Johnson @hpmjohnson]

@Pepper_Johnson?

[Frenchy @sungaattack]

Who remembers the bowl-mullet?? 🔥🔥🔥

[Hannah Johnson @hpmjohnson]

@Pepper_Johnson

[Hannah Johnson @hpmjohnson]

😂😂

[Natalie Gregerson @nattygeeee]

Turns out my top three hobbies are:
1) restaurants
2) bars
3) non-essential businesses

[Madison Jo @MadisonJo313]

I feel so much secondhand embarrassment for people that still went on spring break trips and are posting pictures with captions joking about social distancing/getting sick. People are dying and you should have stayed home.

[Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers]

People: "I want 2020 to be like the roarin' twenties!"

Earth: "Alright, infectious disease is spreading."

People: "No, not like that."

Earth: "The US stock market is tanking."

People: "Wait..."

Earth: "LMAO Bars can't be open anymore."

[Hannah Johnson @hpmjohnson]

@Pepper_Johnson 😭

[Hannah Johnson @hpmjohnson]

🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

[Chris Hayes @chrislhayes]

Not the *best* week for people with anxiety.

[Hannah Johnson @hpmjohnson]

😂❤️

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

the human has been working from home the last couple days. and every so often. they let me participate in the video calls. all the other humans cheer when they see me. i am the only thing holding their company together

[Hannah Johnson @hpmjohnson]

@Pepper_Johnson daily task ✅😂

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

Due to enormous personal flaws I refuse to work on, I will be arriving 20 minutes late with iced coffee, please respect that

[Hannah Johnson @hpmjohnson]

👏👏

[Bridget Phetasy @BridgetPhetasy]

Big shout out to all the Trump supporters freaking out about family values because JLo grabbed herself by the pussy.

[A Bearer Of Dad News @HomeWithPeanut]

Parenting: [mutters] I wish they would grow out of this damn phase.

Also parenting: [sobs] They are growing up too damn quickly.