holly

[holly @hpwinrow]

@riverofthewild to spite me clearly

[holly @hpwinrow]

The man has just told me to send a mean text and then when I did he went “fucking hell didn’t think you’d actually do it” I am going to commit a murder

[holly @hpwinrow]

I’ve been playing red tv as I travel back and forth all day and I genuinely think I’ve spent a solid hour today of solely all too well 😬

[holly @hpwinrow]

@riverofthewild 🤞🤞🤞🙏🙏🥰🥰🥰🥰

[holly @hpwinrow]

I’m watching firefighters climb up a ladder out the window and I feel like I’m in a diet Coke advert

[holly @hpwinrow]

It’s not that I’m rooting for someone’s downfall but someone in my team is leaving and I genuinely jumped for joy and have never been happier

[holly @hpwinrow]

@riverofthewild 🐜🐜🐜

[holly @hpwinrow]

I’ve really internalised “this story has two morals. 1. Now you know that! You didn’t use to!” this is how I tell stories

[holly @hpwinrow]

this got worse the head of the department about 5 levels up from me has been telling people I’m the go-to to deal with things guys I Really Don’t want to go to space I’m putting this on the record now

[holly @hpwinrow]

after becoming slightly obsessed with the consequences of accidentally becoming important at work film it is not boding well that I am becoming accidentally important at work guys I do Not want to go to space I’m telling you now

[holly @hpwinrow]

thinking about the song “I wish I was James Bond” in which it would be reasonable to assume the singer wants to be James Bond, however the second verse opens with “hello mr bond, I’ve been expecting you” implying that he actually wants to beat up Bond, which is a different song

[holly @hpwinrow]

even outside of this imagine you are on the run bc you’ve been framed for murder so you text the love of your life for help because you have no one else to turn to and you open with “I’m in a pickle” were there no other words???

[holly @hpwinrow]

imagine your old fling who ghosted you and broke your heart appears out of nowhere at your work 18 months later and you start talking again and he’s not so bad and then very next day he’s on the news as a murder suspect and you check your phone to see he’s text you “IM A PICKLE”

[holly @hpwinrow]

I don’t think he’s gotten through a single sketch without horrifically breaking but it works every time

[holly @hpwinrow]

I know I’m deep in this obsession but objectively it’s crazy how many iconic SNL sketches Ryan gosling has done like close encounters, papyrus, Mikey days white whale of beavis and butthead?? go off king

[holly @hpwinrow]

@riverofthewild literally only god knows 🫡🫡

[holly @hpwinrow]

At the cinema and the man just said to the very nice waitress “men are the most oppressed gender” can I catch a fucking break

[holly @hpwinrow]

after becoming slightly obsessed with the consequences of accidentally becoming important at work film it is not boding well that I am becoming accidentally important at work guys I do Not want to go to space I’m telling you now

[holly @hpwinrow]

how soon can I do a dramatic comeback 🤔

[holly @hpwinrow]

I was going to tweet happy April 29th and went to see what I tweeted this time last year and it was “did John mulaney kill the pope?” So uh everyone celebrates differently I guess

[holly @hpwinrow]

The man just said “I’m going to send you a fly… please confirm that this is a fly” oh to see what goes on in his head