Huckitom

Sometimes between pretending to work and pretending to study my brain farts out a thought and I put it here for future historians and/or my therapist.

[Huckitom @huckitom]

"you'll be visited by three spirits"

The three spirits:

[Huckitom @huckitom]

Sure fucking does, champ!

[Huckitom @huckitom]

she steamboat on my willie 'til i public on her domain

[Huckitom @huckitom]

@dantheshive @damnyouwillis Sure they can, just not for a very long time

[Huckitom @huckitom]

The #YAFantasy section at Barnes & Noble be like HOT NEW TRILOGY! "The Ass of Shit & Fart, The Taint of Smell & Stank; The Dick of Piss & Cum."

[Huckitom @huckitom]

For a country that hates the chinese so much they sured named a lot of streets after this Ped Xing guy

[Huckitom @huckitom]

if i ever do competitive sports it will be just because the carb loading seems kinda fun

[Huckitom @huckitom]

Like, does RAID: Shadow Legends have anything other than That Orc in it

[Huckitom @huckitom]

Hot take: superman is an isekai. No I will not take any questions.

[Huckitom @huckitom]

How long do you think until they start thawing the ice on Mars, bottling it and selling it to us in plastic 6-packs

[Huckitom @huckitom]

Archaeologists want you to think it's an "achievement" when they find stuff thats been in the ground for millennia but really it would be more impressive if they stopped playing indiana jones and started finding things that have been freshly put in the ground, like potatoes.

[Huckitom @huckitom]

@thinkceci Not from wikipedia? Wow, coulda fooled me. I guess you just happened to type the same words in the same order and added links to relating wikipedia articles

[Huckitom @huckitom]

I often think back to this book I found on amazon that was blatantly copy pasted from wikipedia. Even left hyperlinks in there.
I'm as appalled as I am wowed. Big balls, @thinkceci.

[Huckitom @huckitom]

@thinkceci No I am not how dare you. I am usually a master of comedy but this particular tweet was a full-on, no holds barred, callout for a book that you didn't even write. Like come on. You have the HYPERLINKS in there. You will get nowhere with flattery, and I have reported the book

[Huckitom @huckitom]

The rest of it, as far as I can tell, is copy/pasted from wattpad. WATTPAD. Bro would I be pissed if I found out my new witchy amazon book that I paid for was sourced from the same place my Biden x Wario 18+ fanfic is stored.

[Huckitom @huckitom]

the CERN might create a black hole at any moment, so let me tell you this in the brief flash of light before the darkness: be better. Challenge yourself. Bake banana bread

[Huckitom @huckitom]

At any given moment I could drop my dumptruck of an ass on my couch knocking the ISS off its orbit; the coral reef is on sweden, old faithful now serves McDonald's sprite.

[Huckitom @huckitom]

If wealth was measured by dirty clothes I would own you

[Huckitom @huckitom]

Bitchy woman on my flight complaining about the lack of ac to a flight attendant:

+There's no air.

- There is air, ma'am. We're not dead.