moody_quaranteen

Light beer drinkin, Oxford comma using, mother loving, potluck veteran.

[Wilder World @WilderWorld]

🦍#WilderPets RT Giveaway 🦍

In honor of the upcoming Pets collection, we're giving away a WW #NFT - Winner gets a Ape!

Enter:
1. RT
2. Follow @WilderPets @QuantumWilder & @WilderWorld
3. Join the WW Discord

It's time to Ape in, the Wilder Way!

https://t.co/9zUfFvNL5e

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

@tedcruz Thanks, Rafael "Ted" Cruz. Need we remind you that your father was an undocumented immigrant who was granted political asylum from Cuba.

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

*me wearing glasses*
DMV clerk: do you wear glasses?
Me: Yes, but only when I’m horny.

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

smooth jazz and fresh fruit>

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

phuket I guess I’m going to Thailand

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

there is a special place in purgatory for people who like to chat in saunas.

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

Hypothetically speaking, if I were forced to choose my own torture tactic on myself, I’d go with waterboarding.

There are no long term effects and it seems mildly hydrating.
#mondaythoughts #MondayMood

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

Guy from Bronx: “Yo my mans, I think I deadass got hemorrhoids”

Me (midwest guy): “Dude, that’s so shitty. Let’s go grab a beer, bro”

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

my mom after thanksgiving: Let’s see how many different dishes I can make with all this dry ass leftover turkey

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

anomalous flex but okie dokie

[Tomi Lahren @TomiLahren]

Would the person who runs Hillary’s Instagram account remind her that we did save democracy, on November 8th, 2016. Thanks.

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

the only thing getting LIT this weekend are my fall scented candles and the bottle rockets I found under my bed

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

Me: *curiously staring at a fine breed of dog*
“Let’s get this bred!”

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

SCRATCHING THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR NOSE IS NOT THE SAME AS PICKING YOUR NOSE.

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

My road rage is at its highest on my days off during the day when I’m yelling at people to go back to work.

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

Day 196 without sex: Just rewatched the ‘96 Women’s Wimbledon final

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

Now I plan to walk into my 10yr high school reunion, high five a few people then walk out.

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

Well that’s the last time I wear a blue shirt at #Menards 🙃

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

Always strive for constant progress. Never rest on your yannys.

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

My little brother is having his appendix removed today...

[moody_quaranteen @hugottabekiddin]

Promised myself I was going to stop being a douchebag, but I recently just bought an Infiniti and started backing into parking spots. So there goes that.