jewlz

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

One time I was petting my cat with both hands and she nudged my boyfriend with her head to get him to pet her too

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

I participated in two white elephants today and at the first one the gift I almost chose was a bunch of toilet paper and the second time the gift I almost chose was an ornament with a photo of Luigi Mangione so I’m honestly a little disappointed in my so-called gut instincts

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

Is anybody still here 👀👀

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

Yes sorry I’m just terrible at responding to emails…and texts and phone calls and FaceTimes and even my own name being called in the very same room I’m in

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

Still thinking about this mom who scolded her children for not saying please when they ordered their drinks and then 3 seconds later looked me dead in the face and said “Diet Coke.”

[Dr. Nicole LePera @Theholisticpsyc]

Dissociation happens when we lose track of time, our voice goes monotone, and we “space out.”

We’re physically present but mentally gone.

HERE’S WHY:

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

Very interesting to me that when we say Cox it doesn’t feel like we’re saying c*cks but we are

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

I tried to unlock the corner store with my key fab this morning and I wasn’t even very stoned I was just in a lot of menstrual distress

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

@TheVoreZone @247Lush 36 and 25 🙃

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

The audacity of @Oreo to call it milk’s favorite cookie as if chocolate chip isn’t holding it down til the end of time

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

I make a wish even if I don’t blow all the dandelion seeds off in one try because I deserve it

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

@GPompeyMagnus @oranicuhh Are you bored with your one (1) follower

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

I just remembered I’m mad about so much stuff. What is joe Biden plan about my deep seated resentment

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

@bjinx_T I swear there’s a higher chocolate to shell ratio

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

If bulletproof glass exists why can’t they make windshields that don’t crack from a tiny rock

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

More like SILI MAN amiright

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

My roommate used my silicone cupcake liners to make her bf birthday cupcakes and he threw away the liners…SILICONE…

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

My only goal for the day was find all Patrick’s lost socks in battle for bikini bottom

[jewlz @hulioooooo]

@nlchipman @lisadubbels Shut up

[Cormac 🇵🇸 @yungpapist]

Are you guys doing a bit or do you fr like diet coke that much