joe

[Bummer T. Vibes, Esq @VibesBummer]

When I’m eating shared nachos I’m always thinking 3 nacho moves ahead of my opponent.

[maya @mayaviatwitta]

i never beg except when it’s to differ

[Yeah @Yeah__Penguin]

Sorry to whoever I just ran over

[krill @anthraxp1mp]

Taking adderall to hump my bed

[m @msnetik]

If you press the right buttons on your phone the Hairspray soundtrack comes on

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

And the chicken, is it jerked in house?

[ѕєиɪ @zalatwicc]

is this bullet indica or sativa

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

When I was a tiny baby a witch put a curse on me to eat chips.

[Naty @Naty0558]

The best is yet to cum

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

*bouncing behind my wife on a pogo stick*
a divorce!?

[kris @gaysororityhoe]

(no beers in) do you guys think anyone will ever love me

[christian @ch_risco]

Fool me thrice bro? You little rascal

[Yeah @Yeah__Penguin]

The pants and shirt combo is lethal

[its me @kayleimarienoel]

i was born to be a retired woman

[danlet @evildanevil]

I wish a woodchuck would

[:p @t0ssm3]

not now daddy, kitten is going to blow her shit smoove off

[Sunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly]

i begin all my résumés with ‘by the time you read this i’ll be dead.’

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

I would never give a mouse a cookie. I’d give it a Coors Banquet and a cigarette

[👩🏻‍⚖️ @fish_oiI]

Imma jack off all trades and masturbate none