The Humble Artworker

"If it bleeds, we can print it"

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@Wisdom_HQ Loved no more.

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@JoJoFromJerz Didn’t they just release a movie about him? Nappy Gilmore ;)

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 You can see it quite clearly here, in the rota which Stephen drew up before we left...

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 The forerunner to the Robovac, the 'Autosweep 3000', was not the sleek, refined product we see today. In these early examples you can see how the housewife had to carefully sit astride the machine, dustpan and brush in hand, whilst being shot around the room at a very slow speed.

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 "You see, Jacques, now c'est 3 horse power!"

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 He looks so pleased with himself, like he used colours and everything!

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 The whole car is its own crumple zone!

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 Albert's practical demonstration of 'how many elephants can you fit in a Beetle' was about to go horribly wrong...

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 "shitter's blocked!"

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 "Becky, was that you?"
"Yes, sorry guys. It's just that Jimmy was in the loo and I'd had that big curry last night. It was either the sink or hanging my arse out of the door - and I don't think the neighbours would appreciate it happening twice in one week."

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 Barry was confused. She'd referenced 'There's Something about Mary' when she sat down, but surely she didn't want him to actually... Still, he thought, as he unzipped his fly, the client is always right.

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 Now, gentlemen, if you'll look closely. By reinforcing the bonnet catch here, we can greatly reduce the number of women required to sit on the bonnet. It's a win-win!

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 D'oh chevaux

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 "Shitter's clogged..."

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 "So you're saying that if we sack the oaf in the white coat, the customers are willingly going to fill their cars up themselves - and we can make even more money?"

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 "What an amazing coincidence - I've got a red dog too!"

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 "Oh darling, you shouldn't have... it's beautiful, I'm so happy and I love you to the ends of the earth. But tell me, please... I must know.... dare I ask... *chokes*... does... does the bonnet catch work?"

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 “You see Timmy, I said we’d rented you a Swedish model for your birthday… why are you looking so sad?”

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@GeorgeCochrane1 When I said "throw the old bag in the back" I wasn't talking about your mother...

[The Humble Artworker @humbleartworker]

@MotoNutJob @GeorgeCochrane1 Only 'vans