Humza Siddiqui

My luck is odd and so are the people around me.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

@realDonaldTrump @FIFAWorldCup @FIFAcom please do something about these world cup prices sir. This is insane. They'll never let us have a world cup again

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

First of all, happy international women's day

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

I believe @Stranger_Things

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

First poop of the year was @AJHudsons. Oh hell yeah! (10/10 bathroom)

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

@KakeJargol

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

If I was president I'd executive order ban bathroom attendents. Men don't wash their hands because they don't want to go through the shame of not wanting to give them money.

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

@BBBTriCounties

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

@YahooFantasy how dare you keep the set lineup function weekly as it always has been and then put a pay wall on it after the league starts. We've had a league in yahoo for a decade plus but this is the last year we run it on yahoo. You should be disgusted by your greed.

[Darwin Núñez @Darwinn99]

What a journey 🥺

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

If it doesn't make me want to be homeless then I don't want it.

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

Her favorite drink is rumpleminze. Is that a red flag?

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

"1 girlfriend in this economy? Not in this relationflation!"

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

@realDonaldTrump hey man, can you do something about resale/scalpers? This should be illegal

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

Dating profiles are wild nowadays. So you're telling me LTR DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE INTO LORD OF THE RINGS?! Why are you even on the apps?!

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

The best part about squid game season 2 is when the japanase invaded looking for the squid for omakase.

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

I'd post my Spotify wrapped but I don't want people to know how many hours of @ChappellRoan I listened to this year.

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

I feel ashamed for watching that fight and the world should feel ashamed we watched it happen.

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

As Ellie Goulding once said, eee eee eee eee

[Humza Siddiqui @humzabin]

One of my favorite things in life is when being asked if I've ever done something - looking out into the distance and replying, "Not since the...accident"